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12/19/2009 08:36 PM

riding a rollercoaster!!

nunez2428
 
Posts: 20
Member

today has been a hell of a day. I woke up feeling literally GREAT! happy, make breakfast for kids, happy with hubby, loving me, all of the SUDDEN I get really really irritable, why? because my husband and i start discussing my son, and the kids playing loud in frontroom. I go to my room, cause i know this is just me and i dont want to ruin their fun, or start a fight with my hubby ( the day was going so good).. so then he took 3 out of the five to buy shoes. I am still in my room, cant find some papers on bipolar i wanted to study. I LITERALLY feel like i am having a anxiety attack, I lose it, i am very upset, crying, about to destroy my room looking for it ( luckily did contain myself a little). thought, go take a bath you will feel better. nope, didnt work, gotout my mom called, ibawled my eyes out how i was tiredof all this, the meds not working blah blahblah. thankfully my husband was in a supportive mood today ( he is not always) he saw me upset hugged supported me. I started feeling a little better. then we suppose go to a dance, he fell asleep. i start feel upset/anxiety again. thank god i have a friend here and I found her online and when i was donetalking I felt better, the scary thing is before that in these times i DID take extra anxiety pill, and I thought to take something else. All over what??? some stupid paper that wasnt that important? and not going to a dance, which i really didnt want go to? its a little scary, i dont want to overdose, but this is always my first solution when i am upset. as of right now i feel, "here" im not good, but im not bad. I want to sleep but somehow cant find my way to bed. soif anyone understands or could help me find some better solutions I would love to talk to you. sorry this is so long.Sad
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12/19/2009 08:47 PM
beentheredonethat
Posts: 223
Member

beentheredonethat and survived.

12/19/2009 08:52 PM
Fierosmom

I understand what you are talking about. For me right now it's coming from my meds needing to be adjusted. Other times I believe it comes from distorted thinking which is unfortunately part of the BiPolar Disorder. For me what has helped that is therapy. I've done both group and one on one therapy. If that isn't for you then I would I get a book on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy for persons with Bipolar or something similar. Hope that helps. Beth

12/19/2009 08:56 PM
nunez2428
 
Posts: 20
Member

i will get a book, but i also have to break down and go to a pdoc. and counselor. i do not want to continue feeling/acting like this. i want to enjoy my family and be happy. thank you for the advice.
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