Home
Home | MarketPlace | Register

Group Menu
Why wear a ribbon?
"My Dear Husband suffers from Bipolar II." (Teedabird)
Wear the green ribbon
Menu
It's Free
We comply with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information:
verify here.
Bipolar Support Group Welcome to the
Bipolar Support Group
A community of patients, family members and friends dedicated to dealing with bipolar disorder, together.
    Join This Group    
    Ask a Question    
      Tell a Friend      
 
Bipolar Community Bipolar Support Forums General & Support How do I make my husband understand.
 

How do I make my husband understand.


Related Discussions:

<< Start < Prev 1 2 Next > End >>
10/18/2007 16:01
mindy28
Pink Ribbon
Posts: 1
New Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 [size=4][/size]I would like to know how I make my husband understand what I am going through and I can not control my moods?
Post Reply   Quote


10/18/2007 16:11
bipolarmomma
Green Ribbon
Posts: 410
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Be as honest as possible. Don't wait until it is a full blown thing. My husband and I have a daily run down of not only how our day went but also of our emotional day, or rather mine. Just as communication is key in any marriage it is extra important in a bipolar one. I have done many posts myself on this subject.PM me if you want to talk
BE BLESSED!

r
Post Reply   Quote


10/19/2007 05:22
peach
Green Ribbon
Posts: 259
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 I agree with bipolarmomma. Be honest. Read up on it. (Both of you.) There is a great book called the Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide that is both for people with BPD and those who love them. You could also track your moods on a mood chart and show him the patterns. Also, you could bring him to the doc with you when you go and have the doc explain things to him a bit more. Sometimes, I can say something and my husband won't hear it but when the doc says it, he is all ears.


Popular posts by peach
    happy new year!!
    Merry Christmas
    pain
Post Reply   Quote


12/30/2007 12:47
EBo
White Ribbon
Posts: 11
New Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 My husband has bipolar and for me this sight has really allowed me to see that he is ill. That he really does have a disease. That he is not only being mean to us, but that he can't control himself. And how important it is for him to take his meds.
Post Reply   Quote


12/30/2007 12:51
sheilabeila
Green Ribbon
Posts: 241
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 My husband goes to the doctor with me, that way she can explain to him about the disease. He has become very supportive and I think he kinda understands now. He helps me with my meds, makes sure I take them, helps me with my moods... my ups and downs. Him going to the doc with me has helped alot becaus ehe too didnt understand either at first. Good Luck, Love, s~
Sheila~
Post Reply   Quote


01/08/2008 05:38
ell
Posts: 40
New Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 I am really impressed with how hard you guys are working to make things right in your marriages and homes. I think it must take a tremendous amount of courage to share with someone your daily ups and downs and mood swings. Your partners must truly love you to be so encouraging and involved. I think you are very lucky. My husband is the one with BP, but he has never shared any idea that his moods may be an issue; he has never shared that his therapist or prescribing psych has ever even discussed the idea that his moods may affect the marriage, family, or homelife. I want to ask if it is routine in BP therapy (with a counselor and/or prescribing psych.) to talk about the home life. It seems from what I have learned that you almost couldn't do therapy without asking what's happening with those you live with? Or could you. I really feel that the interactions you guys are having with your spouses would help my husband and I tremendously, yet he has never even alluded to the idea that he may even have "moods;" it's all my being a bad spouse/person. Is he just in denial? Is it standard therapy that he is discussing these things with his therapist and psych.? If so, is it that he hears these things but is not ready to accept that he needs to be more self-aware and honest and maybe work with me. Or, can you go to therapy and never have them talk about the family life? Can the professionals know you are BP and taking meds, but never do the self-awareness route in therapy? Or is he just not sharing that with me? (Which would be insidious since he is so intelligent, and to know that he knows he should be more self-aware, yet he is willing to totally deny and just blame me for everything.) Is it realistic that the counselors may believe he only has BP issues at work, not at home?
Post Reply   Quote


01/08/2008 18:26
robs
Green Ribbon
Posts: 63
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 its usually the oposite ell.work is the last to know about it unless they are told or something happens at work.chanced are if there are issues at work they are issues that he created.also remember in mania the bp feels unstoppable.they can do non wrong.a controling boss that has been tolerated ,will quickly become an enimie.a lazy or unliked coworker will be a target.ofcourse if there is a coworker relationship that goes wrong,well one can only imagine.thats a tough one w/o bp.

i certainly dont think a therapist would think that his bp only exists at work.
Post Reply   Quote


01/09/2008 06:06
ell
Posts: 40
New Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Which begs my question which is does his therapist even know he has been diagnosed BP (which I assume he has since he's being prescribed BP meds). Looking back over our 13 years I see lots of behavior that was manic and could have been seriously destructive for him, but he is one lucky SOB. He actually had a blow out with a boss who had turned into his "enemy" and the entire group left his firm, except for him! But he freaking made it work for him! He must really be brilliant! He's had fights with every single landlord we've ever had--even had the cops called on him! Fights with almost every single boss, and if not a fight, the boss is an idiot to be kept happy so he can do his own thing. He's had lots of trouble with co-workers, usually due to his arrogance and ego, but is now in a position where he can hire his own support staff and thus surround himself with people who give him no trouble. The other coworkers, well, he does still get into trouble because he won't follow rules; he seems to find all rules stupid and only to be followed by those stupid enough to follow them. Yet he always gets out of trouble--slides right on through no matter what he has done or said. Nothing like feeding that ego? No wonder things have gotten worse in our marriage--he is the king and I just don't get it. But, someone out there will, so why stay with me?

So, is there much hope for the US if he is on such a high about himself? Am I just spinning my wheels reading books, talking to people, analyzing my behavior, modifying my behavior, accomodating his behavior? If he is happy, or thinks he is, and I do think he feels quite superior to, well, everyone, and he must be very good at convincing people that he is right, or surrounding himself with people who think he is right, then why would he take a "look" at his moods, his attitudes, his assumptions, his behaviors. I just don't know. I also don't think there is anything for me to do, but I don't want to keep accomodating him. Is that the idea beind surrendering? Don't accomodate him, but don't fight him? So, how do I stop being angry?
Post Reply   Quote


01/09/2008 21:25
carmen33
Green Ribbon
Posts: 6613
Group Leader

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 don't lose yourself in this battle, it ain't worth it, he isn't king, God didn't leave him in charge, if you can talk with his doctor please do so and let them know what kinda behavior you are seeing out of him...
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/ 02_diagnosis.html#soft
http://www.mdjunction.com/hidradenitis-suppurativa
http://www.mdjunction.com/diabetes-type-1
http://www.mdjunction.com/diabetes-type-2
http://www.mdjunction.com/bipolar-type-ii
Post Reply   Quote


01/10/2008 05:15
ell
Posts: 40
New Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Thanks for the encouragement. I don't think he wants me to speak to his doctors and would actively discourage it if I were to try. I also assume it is not appropriate to contact them without his approval or knowledge. I've also found that in trying to explain, even to our marriage therapist, that there were things happening in the home that I felt I couldn't share with him sitting beside me, but that I felt were of vital importance, I felt like I was sort of patronized and told to settle down; they were the expert and had a grip on things. I assume if I contacted his doctors, I would really get a dose of the same. Who is this hysterical woman calling up with these crazy stories about this charismatic, debonair man? She's the crazy woman of HIS stories! So, that may not be a road I will take. But, I can see that if my decision is to stay with him, I half to be strong and not let him "lord" it over me!
Post Reply   Quote


<< Start < Prev 1 2 Next > End >>

Start a New Discussion

Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice. Read More.
Contact Us | Bookmark Us | Add a Doctor | For Doctors | FAQ | Awareness Ribbons
About Us | Terms & Conditions | Privacy | Get Involved | Advertise
Copyright (c) 2008 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved