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Bipolar Community Bipolar Support Forums General & Support Does your relationship involving your
 

Does your relationship involving your


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10/18/2007 10:49
damselndistress
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 bipolar partner remind you of a high school romance?

It just hit me yesterday that it's like I'm in a high school romance. It's like he isn't fully committed to me waiting for something better to come along. He also clearly hasn't found himself yet, so that definately holds him back from loving as a whole being. Then we have the he loves me with all his heart but then gets totally distracted with other hobbies and interests. And the he said she said, who's right, who's wrong arguements. This is like high school. And I hate that . When can I have a real committed true relationship that I can count on? And he's always getting mad and threatening to break up with me AKA divorce. I also get the feeling that my husband is always checking out other women, flirting imagining what his life might be with them as if he hasn't totally decided who to spend his life with yet. Can anyone relate?
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10/18/2007 11:02
heatherr
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 oh HECK yeah...the last 3 years of my life have been the high school musical! Can you say DRAMA?!? Its complete BS but Im hoping to find info on how to improve that!
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10/18/2007 11:26
damselndistress
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 heatherr wrote:

oh HECK yeah...the last 3 years of my life have been the high school musical! Can you say DRAMA?!? Its complete BS but Im hoping to find info on how to improve that!If you find that info let me in on it. I'm 41 going on 65 and I'm so ready to eliminate the drama.
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10/18/2007 16:27
jodie1973
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 Improvements have to come from the person with BP. You, as a loved one, cannot fix them. They have to fix themselves. If they want to stay broken, nothing is going to change that. No amount of love, no amount of self sacrifice, no amount of talking and pleading, or even medication for that matter. It has to come from them, from the "primal sweet spot" (got that one off a TV show).

We, as people who do not have BP, need to understand that the BP person (I think) feels as normal as we do. Maybe more so? So to have someone always nagging them, worried, fretful, staring....it would be miserable. Unless or until they have a realization of their behavior, nothing will change. Until they KNOW they have a problem, you can expect nothing more in your life with them.
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10/19/2007 05:18
peach
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 Even when we know we have a problem and want to change, there are huge setbacks and drama. As someone on the BP end of things, it's drama for us too. NOT anywhere near what you folks go through dealing with us...but drama nonetheless. It's like someone drops it on our heads and says, "deal with it." We want to. And sometimes we can. But sometimes we are unequipped and end up falling into the drama and are seemingly unable to get out of it. It's like we think we had better talk about separation before you do...or we are obsessed with making sure you still love us. VERY High School. Very Scary sometimes. Bleah I don't like that feeling. I can't imagine what you all are going through. Bless you. --peach

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10/24/2007 08:00
aamutru96
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 i truly understand i have been with my wife for years and its always up and down one minute she loves me then the next she stares at me as if she hates my guts it has been truly hard i am new to this and don't know what to do
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10/24/2007 13:08
heatherr
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 aamutru96, has she been diagnosed and is she taking any meds?

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10/24/2007 20:42
aamutru96
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 sorry it took so long to respond, just got off work, but no. she has been diagnosed with depression.she s currently taking Cymbalta
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11/22/2007 23:59
maisey
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 This is such an interesting thread, especially the section about how he's always seming like he's looking around in case something better comes along. Same with me. It can really mess with your head if you let it.
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11/24/2007 08:03
heatherr
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 I agree Maisey. It took me a long time to realize that he really wasnt looking for something else. Mostly it just felt that way to me. He would get totally perplexed at WHY i felt that he wasnt committed, like he doesnt even see his behavior and how it appears.
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