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03/19/2013 08:15 AM

how to make my son accountable

1tee3
1tee3  
Posts: 2617
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Well i wish i just didn't get up this morning.(i dont mean permanently) i have six texts from my sons ex and other family members who he screwed over financially and the collectors are calling them now. His ex co digned gor a student loan way back and in the divorce papers it says he is responsible for his debt but tbey said they are gojng to take her to court for the money and she can sue him. He doesnt give her a dime not even for my vrandson she is working two jobs. Same with other family members who were kind enough to lend him money or take a loan out or put him on a credit card. Everyone helped him out at first he is family and none of us knew he was bipolar or what it was. So now i dont know what to tell them . I paid my dad off cause he is 82 and pn a limited income my morgage is behind now. I am at a loss as to what tk tell them. He is only getting money from my ex mother in law who has kissed the ground he walked on his whole life. I am at a total loss as to what to do. The only time i have ever had words with him was about my dad and he was nasty. He has never sworn at me i told him if he threw the f bomb at me one more time and if he started with my drinking 20years ago i would make a couple phone calls. He knew what i meant knew i was pissed enough hung up and we didnt talk fof several days. He finally text with a three year old attitude saying just thought you would want to know my results came back and i do have an ulcer. Wasnt feeling sorry for him said take your meds stop drinking snd dont eat all that crap food you eat. As dayz went on he apologized but has not been here since doesnt text much. Only when he is in trouble needs money or is depressed and i get a four page text about how horrible he is and he cant believe the things he has done and he owes the world. But i wont enable him anymore and i guess he sees that if he is hungry ill get him food if he needs a place he can stay here. But he needs to get out of this mess himself. Just sleeps all day then is out at night. Im sorry if i have offended anyone it is not my intention. I just dont understand dont know what to do dont know what to say and now its really starting to effect my health. My stomach feels gross cant eat cant consentrate on anything else im shaking my heart is pounding. My head is throbbing. I just want to say screw the world leave the house and be alone. No phone no laptop no communication. I can really say i think i losing it. Im crying holding onto my puppy blaming myself. If i didnt drink back then maybe this wouldnt of happened. I just want to escape far far away. But please to any of my fellow recovering alcoholics booze is not on my mind so please dont worry. Right now the thought of it makes me sick. How in the world do i make him take this responsibilty from me? I cant answer my phone or look at another text. Please i need any and all advice possible. Thank you so much.
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03/19/2013 09:44 AM
Catbaloo
CatbalooPosts: 6811
Group Leader

I'm so sorry, 1tee3. I wish I knew what to tell you.

The only thing I can think of is to just tell whoever calls you that they need to talk directly to your son and give them his number. You shouldn't be stuck in the middle. His debts are his responsibility, not yours.

There's another group on MDJ that you may find helpful.

http://www.mdjunction.com/bipolar-in-the-family


03/19/2013 09:56 AM
1tee3
1tee3  
Posts: 2617
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Thanks i appreciate it but they all have been calling him for months and told his ex they are taking her to court and then she can sue him. She is barely making it. I just want to give up. I dont see a fix and now my health is being affected. I wont repeat myself but thank you for listening.
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