Bipolar Support Group

Hello-

I don't know how you stand with faith but i really have angels on my side. I always pray to them. I do not halluciate.

Or------We are all entitled to our bad days. If you feel crappy it's o.k. your an angel yourself for loving someone who sometimes makes it hard to love. coming from ms bi-polar herslf.

Hang in there-T

Hello_ sorry about this one:

SAVE YOURSELF> It takes about 7-10 business days to feel better, LOL

I'm always here. I know you are sad. Go dance in the rain sing in the mirror laugh or cry what ever makes you feel better GIRL::::Hold that head high. I'm hear for you._T

some days it is hard to dance in the rain when the rain maker chooses a storm pardon the expression, but in all of this I still believe my husband is the one without a dought I am suppost to be with. Tonight we actually joked about buying the economy pack of family pics that way when he decides to cut them up there are replacements. this shouldn't be the norm but for us it is. As far as the angels I too believe in angels I just think they are so busy keeping up with the mood swings they can't always be protecting us. anyways maybe tommarrow I will laugh, or maybe just smile it is a positive thought.

After much consideration I decided it best to email him to see if I could get any response. The waiting by the phone evernight hoping he would call started setting me in such a high anxiety level I felt I had to do something to regain my personal control. He held all the cards and knew he was planning to leave, I never saw it coming. I needed to find a way to make it balance.

I basically said that I was confused, and didn't understand how he was fighting to keep us together one day and leaving me the next. That I wished him to find joy again even if it means I couldn't be a part of it and that if ever needs me I would be there for him at least as a friend.

He emailed me back and apologized for hurting me, told me not to blame myself because I didn't do anything wrong. He enjoyed my company and cared about me but really needed to be alone right now and felt it best that we not talk again.

I'm trying to take the words at face value. However, knowing the past episodes he tends to isolate himself from people that he feels wronged him in some way. In one way I hope that the distance will bring him to realize what we had. In another way I'm relieved to perhaps be out of this vicious cycle.

I'm trying my best to say that he loved me enough to let me go knowing that he may never be able to give me a normal life. Despite it all it still hurts like hell.

Any of the BP people out their that can give me some insight of the need to be alone and not embrace someone who is trying to love you unconditionally?

I wish i could help you but i am in the same boat. i can honestly say that i understand what you are going through. i promised myself to stick with it after my ex girlfriend did the same. for some reason they just feel they cant give us what they need and if as though they screwed things up so bad they cant go back. its a terrible cycle that they will continue until they are done runnning. its hurts us knowing they can just cut and run. but i guess i just believe they do care and are doing us a favor. its hard to see. ihavent let go of my ex yet because i love her so, but i think i will have to seeing that she prob isnt coming back. i hope you find peace some how. it is very difficult i know. but since they keep coming back and leaving and coming back agian i always wonder if she will be back. but waiting is very hard. wait until you cant nemore is all i can say. i hope this helps. best wishes.

I have read your posts and see that we are both in the same boat. I love him so much sometimes that I can't imagine for a moment my life without him. I just emailed him to let him know I'm here if he changes his mind but for me I think I need to just try to move forward with something more healthy. I've gone back so many times and each time there is less of me there. The wall that I've begun to build to protect myself will someday be as tall as the heavens I've I don't stop.

Maybe if I'm not there in the wings, he will be forced to really look at what he is doing and take care of himself instead of me enabling him all the time. I have to love him enough to let him go and hope he finds the path to recovery. If he does, and he is meant to be with me (and I still believe he is) he will find me.

Good luck to you.

Dear Heather,

For some reason, BiPolars turn on their partners, it might be for the slightest reason. I have been in a 3 year relationship and before the meds, I tried to end it many times. Part of the the perpective a BiPolar has about their partners is a distortion, suspiciousness, and a blame. We can not help it. An example is that my partner is not a neat person, I can be obsessive about it. When not on the meds I feel he is trying to screw me up or is working against me. While I am feeling those thoughts, a part of me knows I am being irrational but the negative feelings are at times so strong. The medications do not bandaid the problem, they correct an imbalance. Don't give up on your guy even though you are hurting. Be supportive, tell him you love him and want to work together as a team. Take care, Scott

Dear Scott, I too recieve all the blame for everything that happens and It gets so old I am not bipolar but I am obsessive complusive and I clean all the freakin time I have to maintian a order in life. and it feels like he is always tryin to sabatoge me. Until here just recently we have lived together but after the last episodes of him ending up in the hospital we lost our house. I go visit him at his brothers and what do you know he is doing laundry and washing dishes (my biggest pet peeves)what do you know I am rubbing off on him,now if he would just listen on the rest of it. Well I will just take what I get for now.

stacey

Hi--I sympathize and empathize, as I am in a similar position as you. He leaves and returns with no warning and appears to have returned to a former relationship. I don't know where I stand with him and he won't tell me anything whatsoever, so I have had to decide for myself where I stood. I am being 100% supportive with 100% unconditional friendship and love, but am not requesting or expecting anything more.

Honestly, I suspect that I am the girl he left his primary relationship for and then returned to her. But, of course, I don't have any knowledge for sure--he said their relationship was over, that there was nothing left between them. It never occurred to me he could be lying, but then I also didn't know he had BPD and then when I did it took me some time to understand how complex the disorder is.

It's a LOUSY place to be, by the way. I am so heartbroken and I feel for her as much as I do for me. BUT I set up boundaries as soon as I realized I may have been duped and all flirting etc stopped cold.

Until he returns to meds and his senses, who knows if I'll ever know for certain (currently he's in a program out of the state so it will be awhile before we see each other). The only thing I can do is protect myself, be brutally honest with myself, learn as much as possible about BPD, and learn as much about myself in the process while staying strong to my principals (meaning not going back to him unless there is 100% proof that he is indeed 100% single and 100% available--which may never happen).

Sigh.

Maisey,

Sometimes I feel like we need to start a new forum. People who have survived the BP breakups. It's tough when you love someone that much. What I've been asking myself the last few days is why do I feel the need to have him in my life so much. Am I addicted to the drama? I love him but I have to love myself more than this and expect more than having someone break up with me every 2 months for the rest of my life.

If we do create the new forum I hope someday to be on that list