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11/30/2009 04:55 PM

Why do bipolar spouse hurt the ones they love?

Posts: 125

When someone who falls into a depression like my wife why does everything become our fault and say such hurtful things? Almost like the total opposite than who they are usually. Its as if sometimes I am nervous of what she may be capable of saying and makes me not want to talk to her.

11/30/2009 05:06 PM
Posts: 1002
Senior Member

i dont mean to hurt my husband. he doesnt mean to hurt me. i think we hurt people because we are only human and humans arent perfect

bipolar or not, you will end up hurting your spouse atleast once

11/30/2009 05:35 PM
Posts: 2379
Senior Member

When I fall into a deep depression with suicidal ideation I feel as if my family would be better off without me. I feel my husband would move on and my small children would never remember me so that would be good.

My husband always tells me he would be lost without me and that he wants to raise our kids together because we make such a good team.

11/30/2009 06:46 PM
Posts: 2862
Senior Member

Everyone says things they dont mean, its not just bipolar people. please try and move away from the "its because she is bipolar" and more towards "lets work on our relationship and come to a compromise" bipolar or not, relationships are give and take and a lot of sacrifice.

02/27/2011 06:17 AM
Posts: 50

When I am in my really deprest days I do say things that hurt my family(kids and husband). I dont mean to it just comes out. I just want to be left alone. If I am bothered you better believe Im going to say something. Then I get upset because of what I said to my kids or husband so it makes me even more deprest. So then I start to think that my family will be better off with out me there... SO on n so on.. you get what Im saying.

It is a big cycle that goes in our head. We dont mean to do half of what we do or say. but at the time we say it we dont realize it. untill we see how it has effected the other person.

02/27/2011 08:39 AM

Once again Jazz I respectfully disagree. When I am manic, and particularly psychotic (which is losing touch with reality) I have little to NO control over my behavior. That's why they have psychiatric wards.

I wish it was as simple as you think it is, but for some of us it isn't. And no, I am not using my bipolar to excuse bad behavior. Sometimes there are REASONS for bad behavior that have nothing to do with a "trick" for managing it.

I am really wondering about your bipolar if you have it and how educated you are on it. I don't mean this to be mean, but I have seen you say more than a few times now that we can control this and that it is not a result of bipolar. True, we can exert some control when we are in the milder stages, and I cannot speak for anyone but myself, but when the elevated mood or the depressed mood hits it is dangerous both for me and the people around me.


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