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11/30/2009 06:30 AM

I need some tips...

Posts: 378

Hello. Smile I was diagnosed back in september. I was in a partial therapy program for about 6 weeks, and hospitalized for 2. I need help. I have a boyfriend, and a best friend, whom i have both hurt. My best friend is so hurt, becasue dring all this, I called her some explicit names and unsupportive. Now, I want to mend things, but she said i have hurt her too much, she doens't know if we can ever be friends again. She won't talk to me at work or anything, when she does, it is to tell me how aweful i have been acting. As for work, I am having trouble there too. I have been finding it hard to get back into the swing of things (I am a nurses aid) and in 3 weeks, have called off 3 times and had to leave early 2 times cause my emotions got the best of me. I am now a joke at work, as there is a bet as to whether i will show up for work. I never did this before. I love my job, but feel like some days i can't handle it, which makes everyone, including my boyfriend angry. So now onto my boyfriend. So, this paast weekend i said some harsh things to him. He also suffers from BP, but has it so under control. I said the nastty things, and he refused to talk to me for 2 days. I get a text this morning saying if i am free tonight, he is ready to talk. I need help. This evil, mean side of me is not normal. I am the type of person who treats people how i want to be treated. I don't know where it is coming from. I don't wanna lose the boyfriend, we have been dating only a short time but both have become very close. And as for my best friend, i don't know how to mend the broken bridge, and she says the evil side is a part of me, because i am doing it. No one is forcing me to do it. It tears me up that people have come to think of me as a mena person. That is not me. Please, anyone hav e any suggestions on dealing with high emotions, anger, crying, ect? every emotion needs help here.

11/30/2009 06:49 AM
Posts: 13727
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

You stated that you were just diagnosed in Sept as having bipolar 1 and were hospitalized for 2 wks and in a partial therapy program for 6 wks. This is all so recent and fresh, it does take time for you to recover and find the right good to yourself, you may want to continue seeing a therapist (tdoc) to help you with your present issues.

With your best friend it sounds like she needs time and you will need patience and give her that space. Maybe let her know you are available should she be ready to talk.

Your boyfriend well she told you he was ready to talk, just be open and humble and ask for his forgiveness. Maybe discuss ways in which he may be able to "let you know" when you begin to act in ways he dislikes.

With your work, try and just ignore the "politics" and just do the best you can. Nurse's Aid is a very demanding job and i commend you for doing that kind of work, i bet you having bipolar yourself you'd be very compassionate to others.

By the way, welcome to mdj bipolar forum, hope you like it here as much as i do.

11/30/2009 07:08 AM
Posts: 85

I understand the angry side and truely having no control over yourself. You think working at a drs office that people would be a little more understanding. Stick with your meds and talk therapy. If you haven't started yet, start asap. I tried for years to manage on my own and the longer you wait the harder it is. I caused a lot of problems for my relationship too. I was mean and hurtful to my boyfriend. I got help and he has been very supportive. I got the book Bipolar for Dummies (no joke!) You would be amazed at how much it helps. I have the attention spand of a fruit fly! And this book made understanding whats wrong with me very easy. The best part is that my boyfriend reads it too so he can better understand me. Getting the book is worth a try. Also have him go to a therapy session with you. My therapist lets me bring him or a relative or friend so that they can better understand what I'm going through. Good luck. *hugs* Michelle

11/30/2009 10:42 AM

Butterfly, Welcome. Dit and Michelle have given you great advice. When I was first diagnosed I was put on leave for 8 months. I had left my BiPolar undiagnosed for many years, attempted and had past abuse issues to deal with from my cildhood.

You may want to speak to your Psychiatrist to go on a short leave of abscence. You have been through a lot and there is no shame in taking a break .

A book I really enjoyed is Loving someone with BiPolar Disorder by Julie Fast. If one is offered in your area I would take a BiPolar Education Group and you can go with your boyfriend.

As far as your best friend goes a person can have understanding and empathy for the illness, but it doesn't take away the hurt feeling. My mom also has BiPolar and has done and said some horrible things to me, and it still hurts. Sometimes a person is unable to forgive. I would suggest writing a letter to her when you are feeling more stable. Beth

11/30/2009 12:48 PM
Posts: 21

All great advice to give. I understand the anger and mean things you may have said to people because i did the same thing and still slip and do it on a blue moon and i know how it hurts you! I always felt terrible and devistated that i would even go there. But know in the end it was either a manic episode or your emotions getting the best of you. The best thing to do is always apoligize and ride it out.. time always usually mamkes things better.. if they accept it and want to be in you life GREAT .. if not well thats hard but thats ok too because then you know they arnt really friends i guess and you are better off without them and you can become stronger and always learn from it! I am learing more and more about my bipolar and how it affects me everyday. Also going to a group of new people has helped me tremendiously . I mean its an all womans domestic violance group but o my word hearing all they have to say and me talking helps because i liek to compare things and see where i stand and just understand other people and help them as well and get advice. Well good luck it will all work out how its suppose to for a reason

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