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12/19/2012 07:41 AM

Daughter

Not2happy
 
Posts: 15
Member

I believe my my adult daughter is bipolar even though she refuses to seek help. I have discussed this with her husband who tells me she only acts this way when she is stressed. He said she lashes out at him and me. Basically, he thinks we need to take her vicious outbursts and she will come around. I have seen a physciatrist and counselor asking for help. They basically tell me until she admits there is a problem and seeks help nothing can be done. She has alienated everyone in the family and nobody wants to be around her. It breaks my heart as family is very important to me and the Holidays have become a very depressive and stressful time for me. Some times she flies off the handle about the simplest things. This has been going on since she was 14 years old. I could write a book but I am at a point in my life where I am tired of walking on egg shells. I am tired of her using her children as pawns and I get to see them when she is in a good mood. Dear Lord, I know I am rambling on here but I am at the end of my rope. How do you help someone who refuses to admit there is a problem?
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12/19/2012 07:54 AM
claude8it
claude8itPosts: 1077
Senior Member

I think you are on the right track with wanting to stop walking on eggshells. One of the first steps toward recovery is for the family to stop enabling the person who is ill. You may want to look into a codependency group, or family group such as Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional families. These groups have a step by step process for untangling the webs of dysfunctional behavior we have built around a situation such as this.

12/19/2012 02:50 PM
Not2happy
 
Posts: 15
Member

Thank you for the information.

12/19/2012 02:54 PM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16593
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

It's sad that she doesn't want to get help. Until she does, I'm afraid she'll be like this. If only she would see a psychiatrist and get evaluated life would be a lot easier. I'm sorry that you are dealing with her this way. It must be really hard on you. Walking on eggshells is a horrible feeling to have. I've had it many times with different people in different situations. I do hope that your daughter will get some help and soon. We will be here to support you through this. You can learn a lot about bipolar here. I wish you peace and a happy holiday.

12/19/2012 03:05 PM
Not2happy
 
Posts: 15
Member

Thank you!

12/19/2012 03:58 PM
Not2happy
 
Posts: 15
Member

Either she treats me very kind or turns into a raging screaming person. It is horrible to see, when she is nice I still walk on eggs shells waiting for the next outburst and when it happens the words that come out of her mouth are so vehement and her accusations so untrue. She will be quiet and stay away for a week or so and then act like nothing happened. She is 41 and I am 62. I continually search my soul to see how I can behave differently so this does not happen. The grandchildren are old enough now to understand what is happening and I am trying to protect them. For those of you living with a bipolar person or if you have bipolar disorder, is this how they act? What do you do when they become so nasty?

12/19/2012 04:14 PM
Dit
Dit  
Posts: 13718
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Nobody should have to go through what you've been through, i'm very sorry. I don't know if she's bipolar she has not been diagnosed none of us here can diagnose her we are not psychiatrists. No not all people with bipolar act the way she does each one of us are unique symptoms are similar, but if she is bipolar she needs medications to control her anger outburts, etc. she could be hypomanic borderline manic, i don't know. She's the only one who needs to be willing to get help she may need to crash. She's very lucky to have you who sounds very supportive she needs support, make sure you look after yourself first. I have a sister that i'm pretty sure has bipolar and she's also undiagnosed she has symptoms of this illness, she's mostly hypomanic high functoning shes had problems with siblings periodically quarrels...i can only take so much of her she stresses me out.

I wish you well.

Here's a link to another group you may also want to join:

http://www.mdjunction.com/bipolar-in-the-family


12/19/2012 05:35 PM
Not2happy
 
Posts: 15
Member

Thank you for taking the time to comment! I am just so depressed today. It's like I have reached the point where it is exhausting to even think about it. She is a good mother and exceptionally gifted artist. If you would meet her, you would doubt this problem even existed. Some of the things seem so trivial but when they happen over and over again, it gets so old.

12/20/2012 03:50 AM
Not2happy
 
Posts: 15
Member

Can someone please explain to me what it means to crash?

12/20/2012 04:13 AM
liamacker
liamacker  
Posts: 7836
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

First of all, Welcome to MDJ. I'm glad you found us! This is a very supportive, encouraging and informative group. If you ever need anything, please contact me or any other group leader via PM so we can help.

Yeah no problem not2happy. A crash for me is when I have been manic and my energy suddenly runs out and i sleep for days and usually this comes along with a depression. A crash is basically your body's way of saying "STOP, I Can't do this anymore."

Hope this helps and I hope you find MDJ as supportive and informative as I have during my time here.

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