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maddiemiami
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My husband finally went to a doctor with me after I thought he had bipolar. The doctor concurred and put him on Lamictal. My husband had been "self medicating" himself with Xanax and Percocets. The Lamictal helped the mood swings and we actually had a calm normal relationship without arguing and screaming for a few months. We have not started therapy yet. The last two weekends, triggered by his lovely greedy ex wife, he lost his temper with me and 1st threw out the meds ( he restarted after 2 days) and did not talk to me for 3 days. I am so sick and tired of this behaviour even though he has always been bad tempered and moody and tries to get his way by losinbg his temper. Our marriage has been very rocky for a year and he almost had an affair. We have had business problems for 3 years now. Long story ... however, does he hate me ( no love, sex, sympathy or affection towards me, very selfish) or is this the bipolar ? I am finding hard to start to separate this |
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heatherr
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I can not diagnose your husband but I can tell you about mine. Anytime we fight I get punished for usually 3-5 days with silence and a complete cut off of affection and love. When things are normal, if i am not smothering him with attention, he withdrawls. If I go somewhere and leave him alone, withdrawl. Every fight, Every disagreement, Every single thing that ever goes wrong is MY fault. He always turns it around and makes it ME. He is very selfish, always makes time to do things for himself (go to the gym, go out to eat, go shopping for a new guitar) even when basic chores arent getting done or our kids are home alone...and then he will complain about how much he had to do at home/kids. He makes empty promises "oh yeah kids, ill take you to the zoo next weekend" or "lets go on vacation for christmas" which ALWAYS change and leave someone disappointed. Weve all pretty much just learned to not take anything he says about doing things serious. He is paranoid that everything he does is wrong in my eyes and seeks my approval to extreme, and if he doesnt get his pat on the head, he withdrawls. Anyways...you get the idea. You can read more in my diary or previous posts. Good luck to you, its a struggle and im right there with you! |
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maddiemiami
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Thank you Heather. We must be married to the same man ! Ditto on everything you said. Is it him or the bipolar ? where do you draw the line. I have to do everything and he spends zero time thinking about doing one thing for me. one problem is we have a business together as well. How long do you go on with this ? Is it worth it ? Will it get better as the bipolar gets controlled ?
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heatherr
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I have found that it comes and goes. I honestly CHOOSE to believe its the illness and not him. I have had weeks/months with him where he is not that way at all, he's sweet and caring and considerate and genuinely good. I think its all part of the cycles, and the more the cycles are under control, the easier it is. It has never completely gone away and it can be back before you can blink an eye. Its those glimpses into something good that keep me going. My key is understanding that he cant help it and learn as much as I can, and talk to other people who live MY life. It makes it easier for me. Im always here to talk if you need. |
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damselndistress
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My husband has not gotten better and I have to accept that he never will. My husband only sees his own disposition in life and at that everything is warped. I hate to use this example because he uses it all the time and it sickens me, but if anyone were to come and live with us or be around us, it wouldn't take long for them to see what's going on. He doesn't hear a word I say. His priorities are wacked. His whole experience in our life has a whole twisted perception of what his life is with me. Yes I would agree that everyone has their own take on things but his is extremely warped. And he never seems to have any empathy or concern for his wife although he seems so sensitive to others around him. He doesn't see beyond the nose on his own face and our psychologist has explained that he is not capable of ever giving me what I need, that I will have to look to family or church and provide my own needs, he cannot. Yeah it's not fair and I may some day be the greedy ex that you are resenting right now. If you knew how much I've endured and what I've put up with. I have been foolish enough to think if we split it would be 50/50 no more. Now he is threatening to leave the country, leave me with our four children that he helped make, without health insurance, he'll visit when he can afford a plane ticket and send money when he has some. Do you think I'm gonna let him walk if he decides to. As of a week ago these are my terms for divorce. Sign the house over to me. You walk with your car, your motorcycle and your 60,000 in credit card debt I'm not paying a penny of it. I didn't do it, I stayed responsible and didn't spend money that I didn't have, I worked through 4 pregnancies, some up to the day I had the baby and went back six weeks after I had given birth, I've worked my ass of and been the one to be responsible for the children and us for 13 1/2 years while all he thought about was himself. Yes I'm sure to whoever he would end up with she would think I am not fair, but she will never know the hell I've endured. And I want $1,500.00 at least a month in child support if not more to raise my children. I will go from lawyer to lawyer until I find one that will represent me and I will not bend. I will not get the royal screw job from my uncaring, unthoughtful, abusive husband. He's screwed himself. And I should explain he is the one that threatens divorce because he claims I don't give him enough or do enough for him and he imagines me to be the cause of his unhappiness-ridiculous. Post edited by: damselndistress, at: 10/16/2007 07:22 Post edited by: damselndistress, at: 10/16/2007 07:35 |
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heatherr
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*hugs* damsel, you sound like you have had it. Nobody would blame you for doing what you have to do for your kids and yourself. Im sorry for what you are going through. You cant control what other people do, but you can protect yourself from them. Good Luck! Post edited by: heatherr, at: 10/16/2007 08:18 |
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damselndistress
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I am a very patient person people with disorders like my husband will push you to the end of your rope and then say it's not enough and you need to do more when they give nothing in return. They are the greedy monsters always expecting things from life but never giving back. They want a new and better life and woman when they have done nothing to take care of the one they have and are willing to walk away from the children they have made with her with no remorse to pursue it. That should be punishable by law. Our society is warped.
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maddiemiami
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Hi Damsel I definitely feel angry like you and luckily we do not have kids together, he has 2 children from his 1st marriage. he is a good father but only cares about his kids and keeping his ex cool than my feelings. he is very selfish. Honestly, I wish he would leave at times so i can have some peace and quite. it must be very hard for you as I do not have to face the prospect of being a single parent. But is he really there anyway / yeah the almost affair he had really sent me over the edge, but you know what: let someone else deal with this S^&&^ |
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JR1
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Dear maddiemiami Lamictal Percoset Xanax Yesterday, I received Demerol (opioid, addictive, same category as Percoset) with Versed(a benzodiazepine in the same category as Xanax). I will share with you that I believe I experienced "rebound" mania this morning as a result of withdrawal from this combination. Please go to my post one step from hell, to see what I experienced. It would be a guess (opinion) on my part, as to what's going on, but chronic use of two addictive substances with periodic withdrawal then on again/off again use of antiseizure medicine might set up a rebound effect and a resulting manic episode such as the one I experience this morning. I can share from experience that withdrawal from opioid substances sometimes requires medically supervised detoxification. Better to ask the doctor your question. I do want to thank you for underscoring the volatility of substance abuse with bipolar disease. Regards, Jim James A Rist
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MsBimbo
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It is difficult to say what is causing it. I'd like to say the bp, but the doc will know best. The descriptions of sexual promiscuity, anger, and such sound like bp, but it could be more. Trashing the medication is never a good idea. Getting to the pdoc when there's a problem and they don't seem to be working is the best step. Hoping and watching for you, God Bless You Dear One. msbimbo MsBimbo |
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