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10/15/2007 02:31 PM

New Here & Confused

momof2rugrats
momof2rugrats  
Posts: 1176
Senior Member

Hi Everyone..I went to the Dr. on Friday..I have been having a rough time with my moods..I have been in/out of Dr. for anti-depressants..None of them working after taking them for a long while..The Dr. said that he wonders if something else is going on other than depression?He mentioned being bipolar..Asked me if i had highs with the lows..I told him I didnt think I did..I talked it over with my husband and I guess I just think im crazy when i do the things i do and dont recognize them as being on a 'high'..He told me that when you think about it I do have the highs.. I will feel on top of the world and I will go out and get a job..After I do it i come home and say to myself 'what in the world did i just do?' i quit the job before i even get started or keep it just for a short time.. I have anxiety really bad also... I wanted to take up cake decorating..Took a class, spent all this money on cake decorating stuff and I made 1 cake?I wanted to take up sewing, went out bought the most expensive machine, bought material..Made 1 dress and now the machine is collecting dust because i cant bring myself to do anything else with it..I wanted to do scrapbooking.. Went out spent all this money on scrapbooking stuff. I havent made one page..I feel like my mind is racing sometimes...Other times i just feel like im sooo numb. I cant concentrate, i feel so overwhelmed with the lil'est things, i feel so drained right now.. I cant function..I just want to sit in a dim room, no noise and just stare at the wall...People call me i get so irritated..I wont answer the phone or if i do i am mean to them..I think mean stuff about people that i normally wouldnt...I have been crying for 4 days..I have been craving cookies, candy, cake, ice cream, chocolate..I dont feel like i want anything with salt on it..Last week i felt like I could never get full..This week i look at food or think about eating i feel sick to my stomach..I can be ok one minute with my mood but if you say one thing out of line i get grouchy and hateful..I feel like i cant even deal with my kids..I dont even want to take care of myself UGH...I feel like if i didnt wake up in the morning that would be ok with me..I would never hurt myself but if i just didnt wake up it would be fine.. I dont have a horrible life..My life is just how i like it...My husband is very supportive & I love them with all my heart and wonder why he is still with me at times??I love my children, they are not any trouble at all, its just the lil'est things seem so huge to me..They want a drink and i feel like its a burden because i have to get off the couch? I have went from putting make up on , straigthening my hair & looking nice to not having the energy to do any of it and not really caring...I do this all the time.. And never really thought about it much..I called the Dr. back and talked to a nurse.. to see if i do have bipolar would it change the amount of medicine i would need??Friday they gave me samples of lexapro 10mg..I just dont think its really going to help and i dont have a positive out look on it..I have taken low doses before and i just quit them because they dont work?I just dont feel good at all..

Anyway, any advice is appreciated..Thanks for listening

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10/15/2007 02:43 PM
Jennap
Posts: 15
Member

I can so relate to your story. I, too have been majorly overwhelmed with my responsibilities. I hated taking meds, etc. I just got to the point to where I did not want to do anything or go anywhere. I wish I could just stay in my own little world where no one would bother me. Where to we go from here? Just take it one step at a time. If you just complete one thing today. that's okay. You should be happy with that after all its more than yesterday right? Good luck

10/15/2007 05:16 PM
carmen33
carmen33  
Posts: 8702
VIP Member

Hi, Momof2, I would recommend getting in to see your doctor as soon as possible, and discussing the bipolar issue, from what I read in your post and what I have read online, it does sound like there is something more than just depression, do some research on the web for the bipolar 1 and 2 and see if the description sounds like what you are going through.

Carmen


10/16/2007 04:18 PM
MsBimbo
MsBimbo  
Posts: 681
Member

Welcome!

If you can trust someone, get their honest assessment of your behavior and emotions. That is the best way to find out which, if you are, bipolar you may be.

The things you describe are all classic behaviors of a bipolar. That doesn't mean you are, but could be. Thyroid problems have often been confused with bipolar because they present almost the same.

Hope all goes well for you,

msbimbo


10/17/2007 08:22 AM
peach
peach  
Posts: 267
Member

Howdy! I am glad you are here. Smile

Give the lexapro a shot. It may work this time. Did you tell the doc that it didn't work for you before? If not, you probably should. Otherwise, read read read. The more you know, the less scary it can be. And as I always say, do something good for yourself. Create something...I know you have supplies! Laughing It will take the edge off the anxiety for a little while.

Good luck! Take care of yourself! --peach

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