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11/20/2009 12:31 PM

Two weeks in the hospital

Drucilla
Drucilla  
Posts: 380
Member

Just got home. My beloved had me committed because I had stopped everything. I was in bed day and night, I wouldn't eat or talk. I wanted to sleep forever. Next thing I knew I was being handcuffed and taken to the fourth floor - the elopement ward.

My thinking has cleared up and I think it's entirely possible that I can live my life after all. All the meds - there are 11 now - were increased from half again to double what they were. I feel like a stranger in this house that is my home, the hospital ward was all I knew. The cats didn't recognize me, they all panicked when I came in.

I don't recognize any of the member's names here, it's been so long since I could sit at a computer and write that everyone is different - except AprilGetsAngry.

Maybe this time I'll get out of the hole. Please God. Drucilla

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11/20/2009 12:45 PM
dizzyb
dizzyb  
Posts: 4328
VIP Member

Hi Drucilla, good to meet you Smile sounds like your beloved is just that, loved you enough to see what you needed. (I relate to the hospital stay, did a 3 week stint). How great that you'll be able to live, not just exist! By what you've said and that your meds are good, there's every chance that you're already out of "the hole". As you know there will be dips down, use the tools you've learned to stay strong. And, as you know, everyone is here for you. hugs

11/20/2009 12:46 PM
pirateprincess421
pirateprincess421  
Posts: 31179
VIP Member

I remember you. Glad you are back. It sucks when you first come home. Everything is so strange. But with time you will begin to feel normal again. Good luck on getting better.

11/20/2009 02:01 PM
Dit
Dit  
Posts: 13724
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

I remember you too, wishing you all the best for your beginning stages at your home. Be easy on yourself, and take care of you. Stick around and keep posting, so glad to see you back.

11/21/2009 01:07 PM
merryatl
merryatl  
Posts: 527
Member

i remember you Smile congrats on coming out of that very dark place, things will again become familiar, but hopefully in a better way. good luck.

11/21/2009 06:23 PM
ComingUndone
ComingUndone  
Posts: 1444
Senior Member

I remember you too. The hospital is a different environment so when you're in there for a while and then you get out everything is weird. I felt like it was kind of it's own world. And then when you are depressed and isolating that is it's own world too. You'll get used to it and hopefully those new meds will kick in soon.

02/06/2010 06:49 AM
Drucilla
Drucilla  
Posts: 380
Member

That post was made on 11/20. Today is 2/06.

I made it. I caught, swung for a while on my bungee cord, and stabilized. I can barely remember those black black black days where the tunnel was enclosing me and there could only be one possible way out.

I bumped this only to share with others fighting crushing depression that there is more than one solution. I was so sick, honestly I thought I could not survive. I did. Survive and thrive. A lot of medical professionals and county social workers worked overhard to save my pathetic life, I couldn't imagine at the time why they cared one whit whether I was here or not.

*

I am here. Drucilla


02/06/2010 07:22 AM
justhere
justhere  
Posts: 66
Member

Dru my husband is ready to take me back to the hospital I dont want to go after all I am still functioning.

02/06/2010 07:42 AM
Drucilla
Drucilla  
Posts: 380
Member

Still functioning could be a lot of things...I don't know what to say. My SO called the sheriff on me because I was suicidal and had said so, also had stopped everything and slept around the clock. They handcuffed me in my jammies, took me to jail to wait for transport, all that. And that two week hospital stay shines in my memory. They fixed me there, my lights turned on there. They treated me with compassion and concern and dignity. I don't know whether your husband is able to make an objective decision but search your own heart and soul and see whether you feel you need the inpatient help. Sometimes real life is unbearable and life threatening. I for one hope you'll go, let the hospital make the call. I saw a lot of patients come in and just do and overnight stay because the hospital deemed they were in no danger. God bless you honey and present you with clear decisions. There is a lot more to life than being justhere. With love, Dru
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