HI everyone  I have been fighting a depressive episode for 2 months now and i am quite desperate. Its only been in the last 2 yrs that I have begun to accept and be consistint with my meds. Years of hell that I put myself thru. I was diagnosed many yrs ago, but my choices were to self medicate. Thank God i no longer do that. Im actually feeling angry right now. I for almost 2 yrs have not had an episode, then bam, it hits you.I went to see dr immediatly. For those 2 yrs I managed well on lamictal, Wellbutrin, he would have me take a med break from that occasionally, and benadryl for sleeping. My episode of depression started about the middle of August. We tried Provgil, and increased my Lamictal. Let my try to get to the point here. I started a new job in April, a great one that i really love. But my hours were 3 twelves, 12-1230, 3 12 hr shifts, and on top of that I drove an hr and half there and back. Threw my sleep out the door. I worked in the ER, stressful and busy. The end of august i started to go to work and have panic attacks, I have never had one before. I had to leave work probally 3 times and forced myself to tell one of the leads there about my illness. Very Supportive they all were, the next shift i just knew that i couldnt go to work and i called my boss and explained to her everthing. She gave me a month off to get my meds and my self under control. Well today was the day to return, and here i sit at home, called in. Had a huge panic attack last night, 2 wks prior i ended up in the ER because i thougt i was going to have a heart attack. So since august we have been trying to adjust the meds. Came off Provigil and then tried wellbutrin. (Im rambling i know but I am having a hard time getting all my thoughts together right now)increased my lamictal, added some geodon. I am actually fortunate enough to have a dr that I can call in crisis. He was great last night and calmed me. After an hr with me he decided to now add zoloft and librium for anxiety. From Lamictal to this, i hate it. So with calling in sick today leads me to having to talk with my boss who so graciously gave me time off. Sucks...didnt sleep last night well and down today. I would like to know where this panic came from, thats a new one for me. depressed and anxiety ridden, and jobless.. i just cannot do it Thanks for listeing I am open for feedback Rhonda |
