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11/17/2009 08:41 AM

new boyfriend, when do i tell him?

ElsaSalsa
ElsaSalsa  
Posts: 9
Member

So theres this guy who i REALLY like A LOT,

he asked me to be his girlfriend recenlty but we decided to take it a little slower so

plus he lives two hours away, so wehaven't been able to go on a date yet... so i decided i want to date him for a little bit before we're "offical"

and he agrees

he's super great

anyway, he mentioned once that he had a girlfriend who was bipolar and he said it was really hard so I'm really worried about it.

liike i dont think he will break up with me or anything I just idk if I should tell him before things get serious or let things go along and THEN tell him my reasoning is

1) i can function (this isn't for sure, I'm just assuming things will go well for me this year, trying this positive thinkingthing)

2) i dont want to open up to him with all of this heavy shit if we're not serious...

but I dont want to feel like I'm lying to him or anything but I amm scared of scaring him off

what should i do? do i tell him now or should/can i wait?

Reply

11/17/2009 09:08 AM
Missy1968
Missy1968  
Posts: 186
Member

Hi- I think you should hold off telling him. I think that you should wait until you feel closer to him. Dont think that you are lying, because after all it is your business. Just let him see that you are ok and then you will know when the right time is to tell him if you want.

I really do think you should wait until you get to know him really well, that way he will least likely to break up with you. Atleast those are my feelings about your situation.

I hope you get some good advice on here....you probably will...Smile Take care...I hope things work out great for you.


11/17/2009 10:28 AM
Bini
Bini  
Posts: 18
Member

I agree with the above poster.

You don't need to fill him in on every little personal detail about yourself right off the bat. Give yourselves some time to get to know each other a little better. Remember, bipolar doesn't "define" you. Let "you" define you.


11/17/2009 01:26 PM
ElsaSalsa
ElsaSalsa  
Posts: 9
Member

thanks for the advice, I appriciate it Smile

11/17/2009 05:56 PM
merryatl
merryatl  
Posts: 527
Member

I agree. We don't need to come with a disclaimer. If you guys build a relationship and it seems your bipolar is affecting it, well maybe then would be a good time to tell him.

11/17/2009 06:50 PM
OriJnel
OriJnel  
Posts: 21
Member

I agree as well . Thats always a hard thing because sometimes the man does bring up a past gf having bioploar and how crazy they are and its like wow they have no idea really lol. But stick to just being you and then as you become closer let him no but say its not what you think an dlet him know how your biopolar is if certain things set it off and yadda yadda. If hes a good guy and wants to be with you he will want to help as well as stick around and not just leave you

11/17/2009 08:10 PM
ComingUndone
ComingUndone  
Posts: 1452
Senior Member

I tell guys I'm dating that I'm bipolar. I don't consider it "heavy shit," but the things I consider heavy I wouldn't tell a guy about until we are in a committed relationship. The one thing I like about telling is that it's getting easier and easier, kind of like interviews Tongue In fact I brought it up one time because the guy mentioned that his mom was a crazy bipolar. So the next day I told him I was and then explained that I am responsible, medicated, and stable, which his mother wasn't, so it's different. I think that helped to set me apart from his previous negative experiences.
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