Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

Hello, not entirely sure where to start so here goes. I have been with my wife for 6 years, she has BP and PTSD, and I guess more than anything else I just need to vent a little. I know that this isn't her fault, I know it's not my fault, but man there are just times when I get so tired. Tired of telling our daughters that mom's not feeling well today, tired of telling our friends that we can't make it because she's having a bad day, tired of taking days off of work to take her to the hospital. I know that I am lucky in that she takes her meds regularly, and that she sees her Dr and therapist. But again, there are times when it just seems like I'm spinning my wheels. And then I feel guilty when I go out when she's not feeling well which seems like is always. Our friends all say they understand, but I really don't think they do. They all just ask "Is she taking her medicine?" Hmm, like I never thought of that, she needs to take medicine. And now I'm just rambling. Short version, I love my wife but BP, not so much and sometimes it's hard to separate the 2. Thanks for letting me vent.

Cards, you have nothing to feel guilty about. It is horrible to live live like this, and we all understand, all too well. Is she also doing therapy? That's really important, my husband has yet to go, I'm so unhappy and so tired....I'm sure you know exactly what I mean. Vent all you want, this is definitely the place to do it. Hugs!

Yes, she sees a Dr and a counselor. I know that I am lucky in that respect. I just try to enjoy her good days and ride out the bad ones as best I can.

I try to do the same. I wouldn't have chosen this life for myself. I am growing bitter and I feel terrible admitting that but I cannot help it. It's so unfair...

That's one of the main reasons I came here. I needed people who know what I am going through. Our friends try, but they don't quite get it.

It can be a hard and lonely road. But if she is unstable or gets unstable, please be active and call her doctor. Sometimes a temporary med adjustment can help things tremendously. (I was responding especially to the part of your post that said you are missing work to take her to the hospital often. It sounds to me like they have not got her stable yet.)

I try to do that, I go with her to the dr sometimes. But every year or so her meds need to be adjusted like you said and I don't always know right away so we end up with a trip to the ER if I'm not home when it hits.

Cards, have you tried mood charts for your wife? They might help her med team tweak her meds.

I think that if she is OFTEN having a bad day, unable to participate in regular activities, and not able to get out of bed? You need to be more assertive with her psychiatric team and get her more/different meds and more/better therapy. But it is tiring. I completely understand that.

I to sometimes feel like I am making excuses all the time to people but at this point in the game I have come to the realization that this is the way it is and have come to accept it. It is an illness and she does not have a lot of control over it except to remain stable for us by being proactive in her treatment, which she is. I could make it worse on her by being more demanding for her to contribute more but that would just stress her out.

We do use moodtracker to try and chart the ups and downs