Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

My husband has been diag BP for 14 years. I married him without knowing he was BP. It was my 2nd marriage. I have three children from my previous marriage. I didn't leave him when I found out but educated mayself on BP. It helped but I'm getting so tired of the drams. I am a Christian and made the decision that God put me with him to help him since no one else ever did. He initially went to a dr. and got med's when I figured out there was something wrong with him. Looking back at the last 13 years....I should have left then. He has taken Zoloft, Abilify and Adderall. Now he only takes the Adderall. He is very angry, is in a constant argumentative state and always makes excuses for everything that is not going well. It is always someone elses issue. Now he is blaming me, saying awful things that hurt, and is becoming a workaholic. There is no intimacy between us but put on a great show in front of my grown children and friends. He thinks there is nothing wrong with him now. For awhile I thought he was gay because he doesn't ever touch me. He tells me how much he loves me, but never touches me and says TERRIBLE things to me and trys to switch it around to being my issue. He continually tells me that I am "Losing it". (Maybe I am now ) He is currently trying to run his own business again and is spending money that we don't have and then blaming me for us not having any money. I pray and I pray for healing....but God's timing is not mine. Can anyone out there relate to this?

yes.

i prayed for healing.

in Gods time.

There was no personal accountability.

It was all God.

waiting.

praying.

watching and suffering as the free will of another took hold, and took precedence

over everything.

It was he, that played God .

was he healed ? uh..no. he was god, and did not need healing.

according to his will for me, (lol) i was sick . it was up to him to tell me just how crazy/sick i was.

crazy making.

so good to be living in the will of God today.

I am happy , enjoying life without drama

without anyone playing the part of lord and master

i am free to worship and enjoy the gift of life.

happiness.

joy

peace

God is better at creating what is in heaven and earth than the one that took on his job, and created hell.

oh s*** !

i had submitted to what was not of God, with the religious idea that i , as a christian

had to stay in sickness and in health...or be at fault (guilt) for a issue that i could not control, or did not have ownership of.

i was crazy .

Amen. I understand.

Pakamuch, you are not alone. You are an amazing woman for managing as long as you have.

Thanks for the creative message. It's deep...I like that. It feels like you've been through all the drama and are done with it. Wish I were there...I think. I'm just afraid of losing everything and others believing him over me. He puts on a great show to others. They love him.

paka

i felt hopeless.

yes. many believed him. he was after all a Minister with a supportive congregation.

a *man of God*

a well loved and respected man in the community.

the s*** he got away with in front of the towns very eyes was un believeable.

i would write on post it notes, HELP ME GOD PLEASE SOMEONE HEAR MY VOICE ....

and stick them under the pews of the church.

I had to be silent, even after the sky shattered

to speak up was not safe.

i did not have the support of the community when the proverbial crap hit the fan.

some said that it was my fault he was so sick and out of control.

right.

sure.

it was difficult for folks to wrap their head around.

Pakamuch, I understand about your worry of others believing him over you. My wife was very convincing. I also found that people do not want to believe or understand mental illness. There are some people that still think I was just being mean when I told them she was off her meds and manic. But I found that the people that matter believed me, even if they did not fully understand.

Me too. My mother, my so called best friend, and I think I can say truthfully everyone around us didn't notice. How can you.not notice he is.so mean and running 100 mph? even now, ppl thought I stressed him. Anyone under that stress would be more irritable.

Whatever

Now he is down from his mania he is.pleasant to be around. I want to scream. CAN NOBODY FREAKING SEE THE DIFFERENCE. I'M NOT CRYING. HE IS NICE.

God knows the truth. God knows my heart. It has to be enough. It is enough. I will keep faithing it till I make it.