Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

forfor

how old is your son ?

why ?

we are looking to the future

where there is nothing to see.

if we look to the past

there is a view

something to look AT.

the future IS the past.

Be mindful each day of your life

you are creating your future.

Each day, ask

is this what i want

every day

for the rest of my life ?

I'm so sorry. I understand your pain.

Thanks for all your replies and words of kindness. I think we all know what we need to do. It's finding the strength to do it and holding ourselves to that decision that is the hardest part. I am finding myself unhealthy again trying to deal with this. I just need to cut out before I lose it.

A message to those with kids: I am not a parent, but I am the product of dysfunctional parents. My father was physically and emotionally abusive toward my mother, my siblings and I, and my mother was extremely codependent. I wish my mother would have left my father. I see how her tolerance for all the abuse has shaped me as an adult. My bipolar bf was abusive with me, yet I stayed. My mother says she put up with it for us kids. So, there is some part of me that feels guilty and blameworthy for what my father put her through. I wish my mother would have showed me that it is not okay to be treated this way...she and my father normalized this abnormal relationship for their kids. Don't do this to your kids.

Update: just broke it off. He acted nonchalant and it was a convo we've had a million times before. Him: I love you but am just so confused. I want to be with you but I also want to have fun and have sex with other people. I don't understand why you even love me.

Seriously, it was the same convo we had the previous eight times we broke up. He will go sleep around then in a few months he will contact me and say he is sorry and that he was stupid and wants to get back together. I need to close this chapter for good this time. This relationship has brought me nothing but heartache and I feel for the next gal he pulls in.

ouch. good on you for walking. heartache indeed.

@ 2me way to go. You are strong!

My youngest son just turned 15. He'll be a freshman when school starts up. Oldest is 17.5

18 in Aug and bootcamp in Sept.

Thanks Happened for writing this to parents. I needed to hear that. Big fat tears are rolling down my face right now. I so badly hurt for my kids. My youngest especially, will he blame me for his dad leaving, etc.

He goes from being afraid of him to missing him so badly. I just want to save him from the world.

I was taught, as long as he doesn't hit us, it's ok. There are holes in the wall from his parents house. I'm not sure who did it, but the cycle of verbal or physical raging has to stop.

I don't feel strong enough to stop it, but I am going to. Even if it means just teaching them that punching holes in walls is not ok.

Hugs to you guys

Zengirl, stay strong! It's sad when this behavior becomes normal. I was shocked when my therapist told me it wasn't. I just thought all men were abusive and cheated on their spouses. Like I said, I wish my mother would have left and not use us a crutch for her staying. My sister once said maybe it was better had she not been born then my mother wouldn't have to be hit by my father - she was only seven when she said this. My siblings and we're all grown now and all have college degrees and are professionally successful, but we are all an emotional mess. Two of my sisters married abusive men and are now divorced. One is a single mom to four kids, so I understand how hard it is.

H, I have low points during each day, usually early to mid morning or in the middle of the night and I feel like I am living a nightmare. I look for him and he is not here. My youngest ask me where he is and I can't bare to tell him he chose his aunt over us.

The low points are usually when I am listening to his rhetoric how I am the problem and this is the "real" him. I am beginning to accept that he will want to come back when he crashes.

I don't know if I can forgive him. I just don't know. If he gets back on treatment, he can go off again or get the wrong combination and this emotionally mean and nasty person will reappear.