Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

The last few sentences of your post could have been written write from my head. I feel so cold right now. On APril 15th when this manic episode started, that is exactly what I said to him, don't touch me, don't apologize to me, don't try to be with me. And since that point, I have eased up but I think my body language says alot. I still am perfectly OK with him not touching me. I think he has hugged me a couple of times in the past few months and each time, I just feel odd when he does. Like I am hugging my cousin versus the man that I married. My husband is now out of the episode and is actaully now quite depressed. I know he is lonely as I have been away for 12 days with my girls on vacation at the beach. He sounds so sad when he calls us. We have discussed a separation coming in the next few months. But he has done nothing toward moving out.

I know this will be easier said than done, but try not to obsess about him taking his own life. Trust me, if he wants to hurt himself, he will whether you are there or not. That is an unfortunate consequence of this disorder. My husband was recently hospitalized after he came up with a very detailed plan to kill himself while my daughters and I spept upstairs. I think that was the day I decided that I could no longer subject my self or the girls to this disorder on a daily basis. This has truly been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and I feel that I am not even half way through the journey or ending our marriage. Now, I will worry when he is in my house or not in my house, if he gets so depressed that he commits suicide.

This really does suck. And, I also did not realize that with each episode the cognitive level decreases for them. ALthough, it sounds incredibly plausible as I see a very different man now, cognitvely, than I did 15 years ago.

I wish you all the best. I know none of this is easy. My heart goes out to you. This is truly a horrible place to be to feel like you have to protect yourself and your kids from your husband.

Please stay in touch.

WOw, after reading all of your posts, I am so depressed even more. Within this pit in the bottom of my stomach I am so devastated becuase I have loved a man who has Bipolar for over 8 yrs. But the roller coaster ups and downs and every 3 to 4 month breakups and ;ack of independance... verbal Abuse and blame and anger rages... from someone who could be the most loving man... This is like a freaking bad ass JOKE!!!

I have been married 13 years this August. I have BP. It really came out this past year. I can honestly say that our relationship is even stronger. Maybe therapy might help your situation. I am sorry that you are going through this.

I dont know if we can at this point. he has had it for some time. On meds, off meds. I have to say I have been th longest supporter he has had. His ex wife and her husband HATE him and he does some really off thr wall stuff. My sister has Bipolar, but hse does not have fits of anger and rage. She does get deeply depressed and has had to be hospitalized.. She is jsut very diffferent. he can be very arrogant. tries to be controlling. he has no sense of independance or self esteem. He says he is willing to do things but he embarrasses me with his actions. Im tired of him to be honest and I do not want to keep be the one made to do everything and handle everything while he gets to just be free to spend. I have 3 children and he has two. the roller coaster ride is sooo unexpected and no security. He says I give him security and he trusts me, then I a bitch, whore or whatever else I have heard as well as his mother and his ex... I almost feel like I become him when he gets nasty when things do not go his way. He will try and change things up the next day or in a week like nothing ever happened. I cant forget anymore. Im burnt out and do not see a secure future ever with a man almost 50 yrs old who cannot manage to be on his own becuase he is afraid to be alone but he wants marraige like NOW becuase I feel, he wants to be locked onto to someone for security. His mom is 70 and getting old. I dont want to be her replacement!

i understand. your situation is completely different then mine. has he ever been hospitalized? it sounds like he has some major issues and major med mix ups. these are all just my opinions so please dont take offense to me. i had to go to the hospital to get my meds figured out. just a suggestion for him. but if he is abusive then i feel that you need to remove yourself and the kids from the situation. i will say a prayer for you tonight. hang in there and do what is best for you and your children.

Its been a long haul. he has been verbally abusive to his mother and his ex wife. then me... At first I couldnt beleive I tolerated such behavior towards as Ihave never been in any kind of abusive relationship. it is verbal abuse and it has been lethal. He just gets so easily aggitated, angry over some of the tedious things and just annoying becuase he is very materialistic and a shopaholic and I do not find it cute or humorous as he tries to make it out to be at times. At the moment, he lives with his mom and has for some time before we met and after I left when we lived together... he moved back in with his parents. I have always been ther as much as I could but he has not made it easy. He has been very jealous of my sons, hs ex wife and what her husband has brought to thier children that he never did or could and she nade a good life for herself. He jsut cannot be the man I need him to be and I dont want to be a caregiver to a grown man 8 years my senior and have the free spirited fun home I desire. His mom is his emabler even though she knows how he is, she caters to him like he is a young man in his early twenties and he depends and relies on her... he wont take any advice from me even if it is loving. His arrogance and ego gets in the way and it is very unattractive... He tries to hold on to his past and he is jsut too old abd physically beat down from his past life trying to be a Bodybuilder and using drugs (steroids) and other things and it has caught up to him... It hurts, but we are better off...I do not take offense by any means.. I am need of help as I am so drained emotionally I have got to get it together and I am sincerely struggling!

I know what you mean. My wife has not had an episode for 4 or 5 months, but she refuses medication and the episode is most surely inevitable. I don't know how many episodes of depression and/or mania I can take. My 11 yr old son just told me that he is worried that she'll have another episode soon and that he thinks it's selfish of her to refuse medication. Difficult times.

ts sad becuase the kids are greatly affected. thats the hardest. One moment he is on top of the world, supportive, hyper and on top of his game and happy with the I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART!!!!!! crap. Then he is the biggest asshole known to man and everything wonderful is replaced with expletives and whatever promises made to the kids is thrown out the window. they all, even his onw children are free as birds when he is NOt around. I see the kids, especially his daughters walk on eggshells when they think he is about to trip out and they become "stepford children" literally and he divides us and I hate that. It just feels pointless. IM sick as a dog from the constant roller coaster ride!

My husband has been hospitalized already for a week, that was one of the hardest times of my life. I have asked him if he thinks going back would help, he said he didn't get much out of it so he doesn't think so. He is already on 5 meds, including 2 anti depressants, wth?? This is so frustrating.

When your s/o's are manic or hypomanic what happens? I"m not sure I fully understand whens hes manic, i know when he's down, like now. He has never left us and doesn't want to, he says he loves me and doesn't want to, I have already given him plenty of options and leaving was one. he also thinks I am all he has though too, doesn't have anybody really outside of me....he doesn't do drugs or drink or any of that either. All I can think of when he is manic is he is hypersexual and has bad/threatening thoughts, although he has thoughts of other woman, he takes it out on me,lol and that I am sure on. He doesn't say mean things to me or treat me bad. He is actually extremely helpful around the house and does most of what I ask of him. Its the kids.....he isn't patient or really nice to them, sometimes but more impatient and yelling....I'm really curious to know what e/o s/o's are like when they are up or down?

When my now ex is good, he is a little annoying to the kids becuase he can be very childish and extremely hyper, laughing a bit over the top, happy andgod-forbid we are in the mall, he will find a reason to spend some money and lie throgh his teeth thathe has the money by saying he saved or had some put aside in case this and that! (BS!!!) When he is down he just talks nasty, he has flipped out on his daughter, he hasnt done anything like to my boys like in the beginning becuase i thikn I scared the living crap out of him but he will vent to me about my oldest son who he says makes him feel stupid. My son is darn near a deaf mute. VERy quiet and sometimes his responses can be condesending. I am usually quick to notice his tone and correct him immediately and he is quick to apologize. My ex on the otherhand, will get easily angered, irritated, mean and nasty and bame me for some of the dumbest things as getting mad at me becuase he got lost somehow. If we are going somewhre, I have to wait so he wont get lost, but he has this latest $500 android phone with GPS he cant use. Its more that he wants to have me guide him and do for him like his momma... and yes.. he was hypersexual and probably thought of other women, but hnestly, he is too much work more work than 5 kids out together along with all thier extracurricular activity. This past weekend we were in Palm springs. I had to get my son to a game early and he was fooling around trying to show his daughter something on the computer. No big deal and I let him know, hey I have to get G over to the school to his game early. ok, no problem see you guys over there... The school was ONE MILE from the hotel literally. He calls me 20 minutes after we had gotten there with an attitude...' UM, we are lost!!! THANKS FOR WAITING!!!" I was like, what? but there was a part of me that had a feeling he was going to get pissed about something, and I was the lucky one to blame. was so annoyed becuase I was soo looking forward to a great weekend. He hung up in my face in front of his daughters. They shoed up and after the game was over we went back to the hotel and went to our room. All of a sudden he wants to act like everything is just fine. I get tired of that flip the script crap alot! New day... I knock on thier hotel room door to ask about breakfast for all of us, he arrogantly say we are good, I will get us something " we good!" I said ok. then I get a text a few minutes later..." I need money for food" I was like ... IM so tired of this childish BS. This is where the division between us starts again. 8 plus years together and he goes this route where he becomes more like his kids owner and they are obedient dogs and wont move past his side. Look, there are just oo many excuses for some people and he is just making excuses but his entire life has been a roller coaster ride with everyone he has been involved with. He has no friends and everything we have done are things I put together, my friends, my family, my schooling events you name it.. but at the end of the day im still not doing enough while he does nothing nd can barely stay at work long enough withouth taking a few months off every year.