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05/10/2012 06:15 PM

Need advice for getting bp husband out of MY house

Angie12
 
Posts: 2
Member

I left my bipolar husband last week because he threw a flower pot across the room in a rage. I told him to leave, but he wouldn't. I am staying separated from him, but I want back in my house. I bought it. My name is the only one on the mortgage. Tonight I told him to get out tomorrow and stay out over the weekend. When we go to counseling on Tuesday we can talk about him living there next week until he finds something else. Is is true that I can take out a restraining order to get him out?
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05/10/2012 07:03 PM
hythloday
hythloday  
Posts: 415
Member

Absolutely true. You need to document stuff: call police.....get witnesses.

A lot depends on the state your in: In my state even though you bought the house, if you're married everything is shared property.

Good luck. You don't have to live with this kind of turmoil!


05/10/2012 08:08 PM
ThenandNow
Posts: 16
Member

I feel so bad for you!! My ex BP spouse was exactly the same. He would rage, break things and couldn't keep a job. Then tell me it was his house and he wasn't leaving, even though it was mine and I paid the mortgage. In order to make money he would loan out his car that I pay for and is in my name. I would call the police and tell them it was mine before marriage, they told me the same thing over and over. It was a legal matter and to hire an attorney. Ugh...Extremely frustrating!!!

Please hire an attorney as soon as possible.

Good luck!


05/11/2012 01:21 PM
mem2514

Call the police next time he throws something and you feel threatened. The police may even take him away at that time if you feel your life threatened. Then, a few days later got to local court or call them and ask how do you get a TRO (temp restraining order). They will tell you what you need to do....fill out paper work, why you feel threatened, what he did or said. This gets submitted to a judge and if he feels its reasonable he will sign off on it. You will then get a hearing date...but at least this will get him out of the house, stay away 100 yeards from you, and stay away from your work place. This is the way it works in my county.

You do not have to get an attorney if you cant afford one...you can do this on your own just make sure you have a justifiable reason to seek the TRO.

sadsad

Post edited by: sadsadhubby, at: 05/11/2012 01:22 PM


05/11/2012 03:43 PM
Angie12
 
Posts: 2
Member

He left for the weekend at my request so that's a relief for now. I have an appointment with an attorney on Monday to find out what my obligations to him are since he's been living here since we married three years ago and he's currently unemployed. Reading the "Walking on Eggshells" book has helped me set boundaries but I still have trouble with the follow through. I knew he had BP disorder when we married but I didn't know that meant he would turn on me. Since this recent escalation I found out from my sister in law that his ex had a restraining order out on him at one time. I always said to him I wondered why his grown kids didn't want to see him unless there had been abuse. He said their mother was very vindictive and turned them against him. I believed him. That is until now.I know it's not easy to admit personal shortcomings but I feel like he misled me. My gut wants to end it because the man and marriage I thought I had are gone.

05/11/2012 09:40 PM
WARHORSE
WARHORSE  
Posts: 5057
VIP Member

Angie: Read My Top 10 Rules for how to deal with BP disorder in a spouse:

http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/bipolar-spouses- discussions/general-support/2729144-warhorses-top-10-rules

Pay particular attention to Rules #3 and #7.... Change the locks, babe....


05/12/2012 05:06 AM
ThenandNow
Posts: 16
Member

Warhouse has great rules! Changing the locks and getting a TRO are great ideas too!

When my ex BP spouse left I had my locks changed too. My attorney said changing the locks is fine if it makes you fee safe, but said we are still legally married and he can break a window to get in. I thought he would never do that. Well, I was wrong! Two weeks ago and 4 days before my divorce was final he threw a brick through the biggest window in my house! The police couldn't do anything cause we were still married...ugh! They told me a TRO only prohibits him from coming in contact with me but not in contact with my property.

Please talk to your attorney about changing the locks and how to keep him away from not only you but your house when you're not there.


05/12/2012 06:27 AM
SadDee
Posts: 134
Member

They do have orders for property too, if you are living there. Legally, he does have a "right" to enter his own home, but there are provisions that would prevent him from entering the home. I am dealing with this too. My husband hasn't tried to enter...yet. I'm afraid he'll be manic and try to break in during the middle of the night. What a nightmare that would be. My attorney told me weeks ago, that if my husband is gone (for even a few days) he could be considered having "moved out" and I could change the locks. If he's trying to break in, I should call the police and they would make him leave because they don't won't leave two people together in a domestic dispute.

My husband is still living with his parents and I am hoping to have the divorce papers signed before he moves out (and loses control). He got into another fight at the psych hospital. He goes during the day and then is out at night.I guess he showed up and another patient was taking too long at the soda machine, so he told the guy to move it. The other guy got in his face and my husband threw him across the room. My husband got kicked out and he called to tell me about it, and how it was the other guy's fault (of course). It is this kind of stuff that makes me know I made the right decision. He was never physical with us, but obviously he is losing control more and more.

My attorney thinks by July 4th, I'll be divorced.

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