Fernex - my BP ex erased several people out of his life. Examples:
1. His family - he walked out on his wife and never went back. Demonized her to anyone who would listen. When I asked about the good times, he said he didn't remember them. WTF?
2. He had a good 'friend' that he introduced me to. They were close (talked everyday) for about 6 months. He said she was one of his favourite people in the world. When he and I started dating, something happened between them - to this day I don't know what. But he cut her out of his life entirely. No looking back. I often asked if he missed her friendship (I know when I've lost friends, for whatever reason, it hurts. Losing people you care about - even if they did something terrible - still hurts.) His response was tepid - he just cancelled her out!
3. He had 'dear friends' of 15 years. A married couple. Again - for some reason, they had a falling out (note - I have not met these people or hung out with them in social settings). Part of it had to do with business dealings. He then said 'I'm done with them'. And cut them out too. 15 years! Think he might go back there, though.
4. His daughters. After I got pregnant, I was concerned about his daughters finding out and being upset as it had only been about 19 months since he left their mum. BTW I met him 9 months after he left his marriage - he did not leave her for me.
He said 'Oh I won't have them over, I don't think I want them in my space'. This BAFFLED me.
5. He left me. Thursday - I love you, lets get married, lets have a family. Sunday - you're sick and manipulative, give the baby up for adoption. Cut me out entirely. And this was a guy who said I was the love of his life, a healing influence, his bipolar got better with me blah blah blah blah blah.
PLEASE - do what's healthy and right for you. Put him out of your universe. He could hate you for months, years, forever. What does it matter? He is out of your life. Thank your lucky stars. Read the stories of some people on here, who have been married for years, with kids. Heal, get healthy, move on with your life. If you see him - a simple 'hello' and move on, but I'd highly recommend pretending you don't see him : )
That's my plan for if and when I run into my ex.
