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05/06/2012 11:17 PM

21 year old living with bipolar boyfriend

Posts: 1
New Member

Hey everyone. New to this group tonight.

I'm a 21 year old guy and I have been dating my amazing boyfriend for about 6 months now. We are the same age and are openly gay together. This causes no problems. The issue is, he is bipolar. He is not officially diagnosed yet, but he is getting tested at the end of the month, but both me, him and his family are sure of it. I just discovered this site and spent a long time writing a journal entry explaining things in detail so it would be really awesome if anyone would take the time to read through it. At this point I'm not sure what I'm looking for, just someone to talk to perhaps. It's causing a huge strain on our relationship but the last thing I want to do is break up. I feel like maybe I'm the one that is supposed to help him. He recognizes his problem and has pleaded that I 'never give up' on him, and I don't want to. I know if I left him it would create even more damage.

Looking forward to exploring this group some more. Thanks for your time everyone.


05/07/2012 08:52 AM
Posts: 2360
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I personally think the fact that you are willing to work with and through this and he is willing to do the same is fantastic. There can be some rough times for the both of you, however, it is possible. My wife and I are going on 17 years of marriage and I have bipolar disorder. We've learned a lot about each other and realized that love, commitment, and a resolve to each other has helped tremendously.

05/07/2012 09:26 AM
Posts: 883
Senior Member

Just the fact "He recognizes his problem" puts you ahead of the game, Living with a loved one that suffers from Mental Illness is very hard. You'll have to learn everything there is about BP, Keep him in treatment and help him get on the right meds. Learn his triggers and avoid them.

You'll have to learn not to take things personal, at times the one that suffers can only cope with the day to day and sometimes we are left feeling unloved.

There is hope for you and your boyfriend to make a life together, but you have to understand it will be about him and keeping him stable, your needs may come second.

Have a plan for the swings, so you can cope.

What worries me about you however is you said...."I know if I left him it would create even more damage. "

Yes it would, but you can't think like that, thinking like that will make you feel stuck, cause resentment. That thinking is co-dependnet and it not healthy for You of him.

Your on the right track and doing all the right things, don't turn you back on this illness, it will suck you out to sea kicking and screaming.



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