Dixie: I'd never suggest to anyone that it's easy to get out of a situation such as yours. I still wrestle every day with the situation with my BP ex. Still, there's a point at which we either choose to be as sick and dishonest as our respective abuser or we get the f*ck out of Dodge and save our own hide. The truth is that it is going to take you years to recover from being with your partner. It has taken me just over 2 years to heal from and deal with my experiencing both 7 days of my ex going psychotic and the 6 months of blame, avoidance and evasiveness that she displayed after her meltdown. I know that I've still got another year or 2 of healing to do. I recognize that my healing process has taken so long because of both how close my ex and I were before her meltdown and the deep psychological wounds that I had in me before I met my ex. In a situation such as yours you have clearly been exposed to a lot more discord and emotional abuse than I was exposed to in my relationship with my BP ex. FYI, she was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 4 years before she met me and I have no doubt that that relationship amplified the impact upon her psyche of her untreated and most likely undiagnosed BP. I share that information with you as a reference point for how long it is that you've been with your partner and the risks you run by continuing to staying with her. If you know this relationship will destory you then get out ASAP. Be well. michellefaith: You wrote: "If I knew what I know now....If I knew then, before the wedding the kids, If I knew...I would of run." You are not the first person on MDJ whom I have seen express that sentiment. My kudos to you for enduring a situation that you could have never anticipated. Post edited by: invisiblenyc, at: 04/29/2012 03:52 PM "It is important that we remove toxic people from our lives even it is painful for us to do so. If we do not do so then the long-term negative impact of their presence in our lives is often worse than the short-term pain of cutting them out of our lives." - me
"He or she had these problems before you, while he or she was with you, and left untreated will have the problems after you are long gone." - Circles2007
""virtuous personality traits, such as loyalty, empathy and being non-judgemental towards others, can unintentionally act as as emotional "gate way drugs" to becoming co-dependent." - me
"We all have a little of something in us I think. The question is does it prevent you from functioning and leading a productive stable life...if the answer is yes...then your little something is actually a big something that needs to be addressed." - kalissalea
"It's a process, and some days will be easier than others. I can't be with someone who blames me for their behavior. It's too emotionally draining, and prevents us from having the close relationship I deeply want.' - kalissalea |
I posted in the other group about it, would you mind going over and giving my your 2 cents, it's worth a lot to me!