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02/24/2012 07:01 AM

Bipolar partner dumped me

brickt
Posts: 2
New Member

Hello everyone, i am new here. I've been looking and reading online for the past week or more about bipolar. To cut the long story short, my lady broke up with me. We've been together for almost 3 years. She didn't really give me a reason, just said it's not working. Then few days later she was texting me about how sad she is etc etc. A few more days later she started saying that the time apart has been therapeutic and she does not want to go back to the relationship and can't do it and told me to move on. She deleted and blocked me from all forms of communication.

This is confusing, i am totally heartbroken. Only days before that we were saying our i love you's and planning our future together. Generally, we were happy and did things together, loved and laughed together.

and bam!

But i guess there is my fault in there as well.

She asked me to go counselling with her, i didn't, then i think i used to get a bit annoyed with her mood swings at times. Most of the times i didn't even kiss her hello when i came back from work or tell her i love her. which i do! she is my world. There are so many things i wish i hadn't done or done differently to support her and understand. I didnt put enough effort in wanting to know about her illness and didn't think it was that serious. To ad to all this, i was miserable and pre-occupied with my own things. Did it all just accumulate and she couldn't take it anymore?

I cannot believe the way i've been treating her. I should have been supportive and understanding and i wasn't. She probably felt like she was being pushed away.. ?

I guess my point here is that i'm not sure if she did it because she's bipolar, this totally could have happened because i was a complete jerk. (She has been diagnosed with bipolar and bpd, but a psych told me bipolar is often over-diagnosed.)

I do not really have people to talk to. Guys don't judge me, i do love her more than anything, and if only she gave me another chance, i would do it all for her, because I'm more educated on the topic now. Have you got any advice on how to win her back and show her i can be supportive? Sad

we have not spoken for 4 days at all now.

thank you for taking the time to read this.

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02/24/2012 12:27 PM
mem2514

Welcome to our family...read my profile and then quit smacking yourself. What if, could off, should off...blablabla...we all go through second guessing ourselves. If she is truly bipolar she needs to be properly medicated and she is the one when she is of sound mind that will determine if and when she will come back.

Yep, 24 years of marriage and WHAM!!!! Out the door I go and I am at fault for everything bad that happened in her life!!!!

Don't sweat it...there is only so much you can do. And if by chance she really goes super bipolar without takind medications and refuses to get with the program...then she is doing you a favor! Hopefully, she will get medicated properly and you can have another good three years till the next time it happens.

BTW, you sound like a good person...nobody will judge you here....remember, not your fault.

Hang in there,

sadsad

Post edited by: sadsadhubby, at: 02/24/2012 12:28 PM


02/24/2012 12:30 PM
sososad51
sososad51Posts: 2390
VIP Member

Unless the partner is properly medicated, expect the same things to happen over & over. You are lucky you aren't married or have kids with her. Even with medication, they can still cycle. They have to fight for stability every day. These are not easy relationships to take on.

02/24/2012 01:46 PM
brickt
Posts: 2
New Member

Thanks for your replies guys.

Yeah i know they are not easy, but i'm ready and willing to take it on. She is trying to work on herself, she is medicated, she goes to talk to a therapist every week i believe, maybe every few weeks. And takes a few sorts of prescribed medications. She is a really nice person and loved me dearly, i could see it, always making sure i'm happy, used to get me little cute presents as a token of love Sad i dont even care about the mood swings and anger episodes. My god, i cant believe i was treating her like this. Would give up anything to get her back.

But i guess i can only hope she will find it in her heart to forgive me, and that its not too late, as all my efforts to reason with her were fruitless, her mind seems to be made up...

Thanks


02/24/2012 06:31 PM
confusedlady
confusedlady  
Posts: 101
Member

Brickt - I had similar feelings of "I should've been more patient, supportive, etc" when I went through my crazy breakup with my BP ex. I guess in a perfect world I would've handled everything differently... But like you, I had my limits and was going through my own stuff too. At the same time, he wasn't terribly open to even talking about the BP, and not being proactive about it, so if I'd been too patient, I'd have been enabling in a way.

I give her props for wanting to go to counseling together, that's really good. You'll learn some important things from this situation.

(I'd also say, in the end, it's heartbreaking situation with lots of loose ends I really wish could be tied up. I feel for you. It's so confusing to be in these shoes!)

Post edited by: confusedlady, at: 02/24/2012 11:47 PM


02/24/2012 10:43 PM
chelle005
chelle005Posts: 2466
Group Leader

It doesn't matter what you did or did not do. It is the nature of the disease. read the posts, find out what you are up against. It is not sad then happy. It sucks the life out of you. Make an informed decision.

And welcome to our little group.We are always here for you no matter what you decide and will support you.

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