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02/20/2012 01:36 PM

How do I know its mania and not him all the time?

thewarisover
thewarisoverPosts: 314
Member

My spouse left me first week of december. a protection order was put in by the military the day after he left me.since then ive seen him for a few hours during a chaplain meeting or two. The first month apart he told me he was working on himself and said that if he couldnt get better to run for the hills, for he is a monster. he says he isnt dating anyone, but i feel otherwise.

im starting to get really confused. after the first month passed i got angry and cut all contact from him, as he did with me until a month later. which was last week. he seems so compliant to get things done for he wants to get a divorce.

i feel so wronged. i never knew he had a mental illness until AFTER the protection order was put in place. So I had to learn real quick what i thouhgt was just PTSD and the war was really more and i just ignored things or made excuses.

i sit here today struggling with wanting to call him. i found out many things AFTER he left me. His brother told me he used to beat his exwife. But my spouse always denied abuse. Not to mention this is the second guy I've been with that I found out beat on women but never hit me. Does that mean he would have hit me?? Or never since he didnt.

I came across a journal that had poems/stories in them that seems to be disturbing. Almost like stephen king disturbing. It isnt theh way he talked around me, it is very vulger and explicit about killing or harming others. But could this just be stories? Is it normal??

Its all so hard to really know who I am in love with.

I started thinking is he really unstable or is he just a cheating asshole trying to make me think he is nuts so i'll just divorce him in fear??

Its so hard to know if he is manic. We do things through texts and not often. As I want to be emotional and get answers to things.

I sometimes think is he possibly a sociopath. He was so WONDERFUL when i met him. And then i think does he have a split personality, since he seems to have always have two egos, he calls them little e and Big E.

Right now I dont know who he is.

Right now I dont really know why he wanted a divorce, it makes no sense.

This is my second marriage and i'm military so its so hard to just move on and divorce. not to mention the state i am has a one year of separation before divorce.

that is a long time to not know what i am dealing with.

how can i know if he is truly manic or possible dissociative identity disorder or narcassitic. my therapist who met him a few times thinks he has all of the above and ptsd and alcoholism.

i cant belive i married someone that i am even questioning all of this.

i looked up the behaviors of all and he seems to meet some of all of them.

without meeting with him or talking with him face to face i feel i dont know what to do.

could it be an act?

how do i know if i need to talk to him to get him help as he may only be manic? or just let him go since he may be a sociopath.

many have read my discussions and know my story. its complex and could be dangerous.

i need help here, as i dont want to be sucked back in but this is my second marriage and if he were to try and come back how would i handle that?

i have several phone numbers of the women he is messing or have been messing around with and i want to call them to really know what he has been telling people. would that be helpful or not?

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02/20/2012 02:38 PM
brokenhrt001
brokenhrt001  
Posts: 119
Member

I have found phone numbers that my husband had and that he was calling and texting, I wanted soooo bad to call and ask what was going on but I couldnt do it and even wanted talk to the last lady that he was messing with cause she lived across the street from were we lived and I just could do it I figured what good would it do, so it never did and there has been 4 woman I knew of good luck and if you do let me know what happens

02/20/2012 04:47 PM
chelle005
chelle005Posts: 2604
Group Leader

Where the heck is warhorse?

She would say (and she is wise beyond her years) Why would you want to stay with him? Who cares what is wrong with him. he left,you are lucky,go home. 31 is very young.

I wouldn't contact ow. They have been told so many lies and really ,does it matter. You will only feel more betrayed.


02/20/2012 07:43 PM
livinginablender
livinginablender  
Posts: 13484
Group Leader

oh warisover

**I started thinking is he really unstable or is he just a cheating asshole trying to make me think he is nuts so i'll just divorce him in fear??**

ANSWER : Both are most likely correct.

You cant help this guy. It is not possible.

Run for the hills and don't look back.

He is dangerous as hell.

I have read your posts.

I have read your messages.

This doubt you have, is normal.

Believe me when I tell you

You are doing the right thing.


02/20/2012 08:44 PM
thewarisover
thewarisoverPosts: 314
Member

chelle, broken, livinginablender,

thank you for your posts. i think i found my brain again and dont want to contact the five women i know he is messing around on me with. my friend says i am to act like he doesnt exist so that means his women wouldnt exist either.

this disease makes me bipolar, ah ha.

i seem to have days of weakness, or minutes of weakness.

i am so happy you guys posted. it keeps me from losing it sometimes.

im glad im not nuts.


02/20/2012 11:23 PM
chelle005
chelle005Posts: 2604
Group Leader

They do a good job of making us think we are.31 is a baby. Do you want to be 44, a couple of kids,terrible credit stds and still posting here? If you have to leave in the middle of the night to be safe,do so. Make a secret plan, stash some cash and leave. be safe.

do n't ask for anything in the divorce. He does not sound safe at all. Just walk away. You can start over. In your situation you must always think about your safety. He is a trained killer and manic.

Post edited by: chelle005, at: 02/20/2012 11:28 PM

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