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02/08/2012 11:53 AM

In-laws and stubbord hubby.

rainydaysh32
 
Posts: 204
Member

Real quick background. My husband never got along with my parents, and they with him, but both tried to be civil for my sake. I love my parents, and they have been huge supporters of me thru everything. My husband has told me multiple times that he doesn't want me to talk to them, doesn't care if he ever sees them again, and says that he hates them. They don't say those things about him, even though they know that he has hurt me, and has BP. So, just know there are issues on both sides, but I do care about my parents very much.

So, my mom called while I was getting ready for work. I did not take the call, as I was heading out the door, but hubby asked who it was. I told him that it was my mom, and she probably wanted to chat, and that I would call her back. he got mad and said that I always talk to her when he is not around, and that he doesn't like that I tell her everything. He wants to sit down and talk about it...which means he wants to set the time and amount that I talk to my family. I am sick of it. With everything that he has put me through, I just want him to quit. They live 3000 miles away. I see them maybe once a year....and talk to my mom about 2 or 3 times a week. Am I wrong? Should I give up my family for my husband? Should I let him dictate how much I can talk to them? I have followed him from Iowa, to Alaska, to Oregon, and finally Washington state. We are far removed my any of my family, and he is still concerned about them interferring....

What am I missing? How do I handle this?

Thanks,

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02/08/2012 12:57 PM
forfor
forfor  
Posts: 934
Member

Hi rainy. No you are not wrong. Good luck with that. I say that's bp, classic hypo manic, others disagree and say its his choice to act stupid while manic. Either way is lose-lose. I was and am so sick of that crap. I was abt separate then he crashed. Like the next day. But my hub knows, I won't stand for one more word of ridiculous.

02/08/2012 02:55 PM
Catbaloo
CatbalooPosts: 6811
Group Leader

In my opinion, you absolutely should not let your husband cut you off from your family or dictate when or how much you can talk to them.

You have every right to talk to your parents whenever you choose and about any topic you care to discuss.


02/08/2012 03:07 PM
rainydaysh32
 
Posts: 204
Member

Thank you Catbaloo!

02/08/2012 03:38 PM
taylynn
taylynn  
Posts: 1866
Senior Member

no no and no! you are NOT wrong! Smile he is so VERY wrong. It's all about control. He should think his lucky stars you put up with him!

02/08/2012 04:27 PM
mem2514

If tomorrow you end up in the street.....who do you think will come to your rescue? Do you think your parents will abandone you? He has issues...if you had to choose one or the other its a no brainer....take the parents and dont look back. This guy has control and anger issues and how dare he tell you that you cant talk to your parents. F him!!!

sadsad


02/08/2012 07:51 PM
sososad51
sososad51Posts: 2387
VIP Member

Isolation form friends and family is abuse. It should not be tolerated. No way.

02/08/2012 11:51 PM
Lena
LenaPosts: 578
Member

sadsadhubby, those were very wise words ...

02/09/2012 07:54 AM
chelle005
chelle005Posts: 2462
Group Leader

Mine did that also. In the end he abandoned his children and me. Guess who was there as driving ten hours to help me out when I went int labor....my mom. He was 10 mn away but why bother calling him. He is worthless. Do not let any one tell you who you can be with,talk to etc.

02/10/2012 03:09 PM
rainydaysh32
 
Posts: 204
Member

I just feel mixed because my parents have not been the best to him. They don't treat him the way that they treat their other son-in-law, but I must add that my husband isn't as good to them as the other guy either. So, it goes both ways. But, one thing that I do know is that if hubby left, my family would be there for me to help with the pieces, and I know that it would not be the other way around. I hate this disease. some days I just want to tie him up, tape his mouth shut, and make him listen to how it is affecting me too. It's not just him, and he doesn't realize all that I put up with to be with him. I know it wouldn't make a difference, but its a nice evil thought rolling around in my head Wink
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