Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

For background see:

http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/bipolar-spouses- discussions/introductions-personal-stories/3226180- thanksgiving-hell-once-again-wtf#3228911

11/12/2011 I confronted him on his gay porn habit and also the pictures on his cell phone of him inserting an object in his rectum. He had been quite manic for several weeks now at this point.

11/12/2011 thru 12/6/2011 He joined several gay websites, sent numerous explicit emails/texts and spent in excess of $200 on sex toys.

12/6/2011 He met with man in a local hotel

12/8/2011 He told me that now he's sure he's not gay and that him and that guy he met in the hotel only talked and had no sexual contact. BTW, he is now in the depression part of his cycle. He claims he was confused, is still attracted to me and wants to not only stay married, but wants us to resume sexual relations.

Honestly, I don’t know what to do. I know one thing though. I never want to have sex with him again. I cant trust a thing he tells me. I know that this was probably just his bipolar hyper sexuality, but dammit it still doesn’t give him a mulligan.

In short this is another fly on the dog turd that my life has become since meeting him.

Oh geez. First of all NO WAY IN HELL do I believe nothing happened in that hotel room. You had a gay guy meeting a manic, hypersexual BP man who had been looking at gay porn and fantasizing for months. They just talked? Bullshit. That guy he propositioned to meet him was getting Off somehow. If he was that bold & aggressive to meet a stranger at a Hotel, he was getting some sort if Pay off. Please please don't have sex with him Ever unprotected if you ever have it with him again. This is worse than any affair with an OW. Get yourself into therapy asap and figure out what you want to do. You have to worry about your health.

This is not your fault. Dont for a second blame yourself for ignoring "gay signs.". None if us could have known. Why wouldn't we believe it when a grown man says he"'s straight. Lots of men are metrosexual now. Shit, I thought mines obsession with ELTON JOHN was a quirk, trying to be like his mother.

have you been to a dr to get checked for std's?

when i found out that my ex husband was fooling around

on me with both, men and women, i immediately went to get

tested, for every std, known to man. then i went back 6

months later to be checked again. it scared the living

shit out of me.

if you have not been to be checked, i urge you to do so as

soon as possible.

i don't blame you, i wouldn't want to have anything to do

with him either.

Sick...its like reading my own story. Sorry you have to go thru this. Big hugs to you!

is he on meds and diagnosed? Anything he says without being on meds and accepting of a diagnosis is likely to go out the window when the next manic phase rolls around...

OMG OMG OMG!! I am so sorry, that's just horrible!! he was confused? My SO never wanted a man, that I know of!! WHEN HE WAS HYPERSEXUAL...

I am so sorry for your pain. I wish I could say something that would comfort you. His behavior is so shocking that it is probably impossible for you to comprehend and that is a problem. Its a problem because if your brain can not process it, (You have been traumatized), than you are not going to make good decisions. I urge you to hold off on making any decisions for a couple of months. Use time as your ally and heal. Get perspective with putting distance in between you and him. He will say anything and do anything in his desperate state to keep you. They are like drug addicts they need a source to feed from. I am sure he is very needy right? wants to be with you, see you, talk to you? IT makes you feel wanted. It makes you feel needed. You are vulnerable because you are emotionally invested in him. If it is meant to be then it will still "be" in a couple of months. He needs to be on his own and get the medical attention and as long as you stick around you are going to enable him to remain exactly how he is. Sometimes hitting rock bottom works and sometimes it does not. But this is not about "love" this is about your survival. Warrior up and protect yourself.