Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

Hello all i wrote previously not knowing what to do with my boyfriend as of now. I'm a little down today. Mind a little all over the place. This site has made me realize a lot of things. I am not ALONE. For a long time I really blamed myself for all his behavior like it was my fault. I finally opened up to my family today and they all are being really supportive they are just worried about me in general. Well since I last wrote, life at home has been just a big BLAH. I feel like he completely ruined our relationship to the point where i don't even think I want to be with him anymore. HE just doesn't get it and wont realize he needs more help then he thinks. Since the last big blow out telling me hes not sure he wants to be with me and I am the cause of the reason he is depressed and fat and all these other things. He at first after telling me he doesn't know if he wants to be with me was very loving leaving notes on my car telling me he loves me. yada yada yada. Made no sense to me? you tell me your not sure? but leaving notes on my car? He texts and calls me on his every move. Example yesterday, calls me at work to see i got there ok. Calls later that day tells me that he has to pick up his suits, then telling me hes getting dinner, then going to marshals, then calls me telling me hes on the way home. Massively telling me where his where a bouts are. Im not the kind of girl who needs to know your every move do what have to do and ill see you when ur home kind of girl. As long as your safe. Then he comes home all macho about his new suit, haven't really had a full conversation with him since i went out with friends and so did he got home late and went to bed then work the nigh before. I started to tell him about one of my friends starting a business and i want in on it. I'm not going to go into detail. but pretty much easy side job to make extra cash. Nothing illegal, legit lawyer type business Automatically he gets defensive and says your not doing that, its not safe. Without even hearing full details. From there it went from you don't do anything. You always say your going to do something and don't. Ok? I am 25 got a full time job as a manager have our place pay all bills, cook, clean, do laundry and i don't do anything? When do I have time? and when i do want to do something its an automatic shut down I get from you. He asks me.. why are you mad at me? after bashing my ideas. Why do you think you put me down? He never finishes anything himself.. gym went for a day stopped, drum lessons did it for a day never thought about again, wanted to write a book, did it for a week stopped. I can go on and on. Im tired of it, Im at the point where I want to LEAVE! Then after that argument he just blocks me out. Goes to his computer and i try talking to him and he ignores me and ask him what his problem is? Finally after a while he blames im just tired and tring to focus on something. I tell him hes being nasty and he apologizes. I just walk away... I know I dont deserve this. Sigh..guess this is turned into me venting..but if anyone wants to comment more then welcome...just thank goodness im not alone and for this site... i really thought i was loosing it...

Unknown, That's what happens when we deal with people who do not want to help themselves!! Makes us LOSE our minds!! Sadly, No you are not a lone!!! Welcome to the venting station!

Unknown01, Ah yes! The criticism. Very common my dear. And the control too. Look he has a good thing worked out for himself. He is well cared for there with you. You are very focused on him and his "issues" . Don't fault yourself for how he treats you, but you need to change this situation. You didn't sign on to be a mother figure to a Man child. Enough is enough.

Apology's are disingenuous if they are not accompanied by remorse. Remorse is what causes people to do what they need to do to change there behavior.

yep...sounds just like the ex...scary stuff

not medicated, porn sites, me thinking, ahh well, at least he didn't cheat, to cheating.

it will get worse if he stays unmedicated. glad you opened up to your family. Hopefully this will be a big support for you..I know my family was for me.

big hugs!!

Thanks so much guys I never write on sites like this but i feel it's the best thing I've ever done. Ive came across an apartment for myself and family helping if I decided this big move. Again last night another argument that I was up his @ss all I was doing was tring to make plans to go out... After me leaving the house he calls me 9 times and texts me 4 finally answer and he apologized for being nasty blaming not feeling well and tired and just wanting to sleep. Yup another down episode of not wanting to do anything.... Cried to my friend last night an came to conclusions there is No hope for me here as sad as that sounds. I think me moving out he will realize he does have a problem and can't blame me anymore. Tough love here from now on. I love him but enough is enough. Today told me he wants to do things but doesn't want to do anything pushed him to go out and get a haircut and stuff he finally agreed he looked very tired and depressed felt bad so I was loving not too much though. All want to do his hold him and tell him it will be ok....but I gotta take care of myself. I will be supportive. I want to say thank you again for your responses makes my day a little brighter as my dad told me today.. Sometime if set something free and it comes back to you it's meant to be...just gotta build the confidence...xo

UnKnow- Just keep moving forward and working on yourself. It is going to get better! Hugs to you!