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12/14/2011 08:53 AM

What do you do when husband loves you and not kids

insomuchpain
Posts: 53
Member



Post edited by: insomuchpain, at: 12/14/2011 08:30 PM
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12/14/2011 09:12 AM
Catbaloo
CatbalooPosts: 6829
Group Leader

I don't know what to tell you. My first thought is about what his lack of feelings are doing to your children. Surely they can sense that he doesn't love them and it must hurt like hell.

12/14/2011 09:26 AM
kneecie
kneecie  
Posts: 425
Member

If you do not love my kids you can't love me... I am so sorry for you insomuchpain that's a horrible spot to be in, But you said the right thing you are now a package deal!

I'm sorry you are dealing with this and with him… how can he not love his own children? We can never answer that for you unless you find someone on here that does not love their own kids… Has he gone for help for this?? Have you??


12/14/2011 09:31 AM
timeforme
timeformePosts: 565
Senior Member

I am so sorry that you are going through this. You are right that you and your kids are a package deal. You need to stand up for your kids and protect them first and foremost.

My theory is that dealing with kids and their emotions is hard enough, but throw in BP and the tolerance level drops very low. I know I get frustrated with my son now that he is turning into a pre-teen and I am a non-BP. I have noticed that my ex seems to have more and more bad nights with the kids when he has them. It seems even harder for my ex to handle the emotional meltdowns that are common at that age.

You may have to do more of the child rearing at this point and let your husband contribute where he can. Maybe he just feels overwhelmed at the moment?

Good luck!


12/14/2011 09:40 AM
kneecie
kneecie  
Posts: 425
Member

insomuchpain, I remember, you are and he is getting help!! It takes a few weeks for the meds to work right or to even figure out if they are working or not!! My heart goes out to you... keep asking questions on here, keep releasing your mind on here, if anything can help it's getting it out of your system and that you're talking about it to other people who can understand where u are coming from & where you are at right now..

12/14/2011 10:21 AM
chelle005
chelle005Posts: 2466
Group Leader

When my ex was depressed he was the same way. Resented me having to feed the baby, pick the kids up at school,etc. He wanted just me. I think he wanted peace and quite that you never have with happy healthy kids who do not walk on eggshells. I think he thought I could protect him from hurting himself during those times. The extra stress of being a grownup was to much for him. Then when manic he left.Right now the kids need you more. Sorry that he feels it is a choice. In the end it is an easy choice to make.

12/14/2011 12:28 PM
insomuchpain
Posts: 53
Member

cat, I know our oldest, pre teen senses it, he isn't stupid. He never tells him he loves him or the other2. He really hates the oldest, the other 2 he likes just doesn't want. He doesn't want responsibilty, he doesnt' want to be a father. I had given him an ultimatium to have more children or leave becasue I wanted more kids. hence him resenting me for them, the first one was a young oops. Time for me, I have been doing most of the child rearing and have been, how is it different then being a single mom? Kneeie, thank you for always posting and giving me advice,xoxo. Chelle, do you mind telling me your story? why/when did he leave? that is what I fear most, being alone and I don't know how to get over that

thank you ladies, you are awesome


12/14/2011 02:02 PM
livinginablender
livinginablender  
Posts: 13305
Group Leader

insomuch

it is not your fault he hates the kids.

that's on him 100%.

how old are you

how old is your SO

does he work ?

how old are these children ?

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