Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

Hi, does anyone else feel like me. I want to leave him ever since he was diagnosed, every day i wake up now and there is always these words going through my head that i want to leave him but then he does something nice and i feel guilty for thinking these things. I have a feeling of wanting to escape no longer being the "great" supportive wife and wanting to live my own life now. Not only that I feel he has similar feelings as if i left him he wouldnt have to try there wouldnt be anyone to criticise him in what he does or doesnt do. We now seem to be on a totally different planet never really listening to what the other says or ignoring it even. I really wouldnt know how to go about leaving him as staying would be far easier. We live in Spain and properties have gone down so much in value i wouldnt know how to begin. Whenever i bring up the subject of maybe moving nearer town together he just shuts off and to him its just a stress factor so the subject is avoided. I really dont know what to do. I havent let my parents know or my children as dont want them to worry and also i suppose because they would no longer think of me as being supportive towards their Dad. Ive just come off Prozac as want to discover who i really am and hoping that my thoughts will be clearer.

Yes,I felt and feel like that every day! I am know trying to have no contact with him at all..It's just never going to change, he will never change. I have to accept that this is who he is!! I have way more bad times then good time with him, I have more bad memories than good!! I'm not happy, I am not happy I am not happy...

thats what i keep saying, im not happy, i am not happy..what will you do then, whats your next step? is it because of his illness your not happy, will he not change because of his illness or because of who he is? wont blame you for not understanding this as i dont understand it myself, very confused about our relationship now.

t's funny how we all feel guilty for leaving them. However, if the tables were reversed and they were feeling this way, they would be out the door without any contemplation. Not a second thought. Do what you need to do. Nothing needs to be decided righ now. Focus on yourself. Take a paella cooking class, Spanish lessons. Visit the Mediterranian. Do things without him. Get your head on straight.

Lindiloo, I hear your "voice" , so to speak. This is a good thing, since we tend to bury what we feel. We tend to discount it or ignore it just to keep the peace. I really think that if our true self begins to emerge and we ignore it, we will not grow. And if we do not grow we are really going to make things bad for everyone because we prolong the inevitable. Does that make sense?

I think you should listen to yourself, ask yourself questions, visualize responses to your needs and wants. How will it go?

Can you forever live like you are now? What are the deal breakers?

I loved the man I ran from. I feel sorry for him in some ways. Others, I do not.

No one really wants pity. We all want respect . Respect is at the heart of love , don't you think?

We must be true to ourselves, otherwise we will be false to others.

I feel the same way. I am working up the courage, I must get outbefore it is too late. I am losing myself and have such pain in my heart. I do understand about the guilt. BUT I do believe sosad when she wrote if the tables were turned. She is right!!!!!

have tears in my eyes from reading your replies, all i can say is thank you and yes i will get out as much as i can to be myself, to find out who i am. I totally agree about respect, i know my husband feels he lacks my respect right now and hes right..thank you so much, youve all made me feel stronger about everything, what would i do without you.. x get feeling he doesnt like me going out on my own, feel he is suspicious, feel hemmed in.

meant to say, i dont believe he would do the same and leave me though, and this is also making me feel guilty. ive just come off Prozac (cold turkey)and wonder if i can think straighter once its totally out of my system.

Here is something I am exploring about myself. This is in no way implicates anyone or what is being said, Its just part of my core value list.

On my list is the word Respect.

For me it means giving it too, naturally.

So I think,

Is it my ego? am I pretending to be a savior to others?

What business is it of mine really? Is it outside of respectful boundaries to keep trying to suggest, and guide, and direct, and nurture?

So I drilled down from the word respect to "ego" .

Now I'm gonna get to work on being more humble, and pay more attention to the outcomes in my life.

Are you in therapy ?

Post edited by: Gypsymermaid, at: 12/11/2011 12:30 PM