|
sadsadhubby  Posts: 589
Member
|
Its been since June 2010 since the last time I was at home with my bipolar wife and now going through a nasty divorce. All this time, I would always come in her defense telling people that the reason she is behaving with so much anger and hatred is as a result of her disease. Maybe I have been in denial all along.... trying to preserve the wonderful person I thought she was. Or maybe, I was so blindly in love for so long that she had flaws I did not want to see. After all that I have gone through....after the way she has treated me, my son, our family, her father, my parents.....I can only conclude that though this illness may confuse their judgment, that sometimes people are EVIL, plain and simple. I no longer see my ex to be wife as a wonderful person with an illness...but as an evil destructive beast who will do anything to destroy who I am and rejoices at my suffering and would celebrate like the fourth of july if I were to die a slow painful agonizing death. Yes, EVIL exits....and it may be closer than you think. Do not get blinded and do not stay in denial using every excuse to protect that person you once loved. They may not be worthy of your protection nor worthy of your care. You are much too important to waste your life on someone who only wishes the worse for you every waking day. I only fooled one person in the last 18 months in believing in her....I fooled myself. EVIL exists....don't let it destroy you. God help her and God help her soul....because I do not think anyone else can here on Earth. sadsad I just thought things would go back the way they were because I thought that there was still a wonderful person with a heart that still loved me.
---why we stay with them, thanks sososad51
My love for her is eternal...see you in heaven.
Well, maybe not...that was then and this is now. Not enough of me...so all my love to my son, self, and future "her".
I've moved on physically and mentally....but my heart does'nt want to come along for the ride.
...thanks DrDiva
I have always been able to fix things....I can't "fix" this.
....Thanks, Southerskies
Stop living in hope....move on.
This disease changes our loved ones into becoming the monsters we never knew existed.
I have learned to mourn the Death of a Living person....for the one I loved 'died' years ago.
thanks, Crushedheart
We Will Never Forget...that they are the crazy ones not us!
|
"I have suffered from depression most of my life, but had some long, non-depressed times. The last 16 years have been an on-going, constantly worsening nightmare for me medically, socially and with my family. 11/2008 to the present has been the worst time in my life, and new things just keep piling up. During that time I’ve gone from being mostly homebound to being totally homebound due to the errors of about 2 dozen doctors who overmedicated me so badly that I came home w/ 4 conditions I didn’t go in with. I spent months wanting to die, and finding MDJ may well have saved my life. It’s one of the worst feelings to know that nobody on earth needs you for anything; but now that I’ve been a group leader for awhile, there are people here who need me. Thanks MDJ." (Sylvia4648)
