Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

Southern: Tell me exactly what he is taking right now.

Many thx! Agree ....it would not work for him.

merry christmas to all!! really tired but hoping for re-newed energy and growth in all areas! Merry Christmas.....SS

Merry Christmas SS!

Warhorse: he is taking, Lithium, lamictal, vyvanse, vibryd, inderal, klonopin, restoril, and coming off of zoloft.

southern: I am sorry to hear you are having a rough go. I cannot even imagine finding my husband non responsive, that alone would kill me inside. My husband has suicidal ideations as well, he was dx with bpII earlier this year. Its hard, even harder with kids, I have 3. Something has to be done. You can't keep living the same thing over and over. Him sleep and avoid everyone upstairs, that just isn't a way to live. You are not happy, I know its really hard because he is your boys' father, but your boys' see you not happy. Mom needs to be happy, you will not be happy with the situation you are in, somethings gotta give. I think only you know what to change to make you happy and know what is best for your family since it is your life. I cannot tell you what to do, just that it seems something has to change. good luck to you and Merry Christmas

insomuchpain: you are right. I am not happy, more scared that he will do this again. Still see's suicide as an option....not! He doesn't have any joy or happiness from anything it seems. I wonder if he chooses not too feel anything positive since his attempt. It has defined him. He used to be defined by his work. Without a job, he doesn't identify with anything or anyone...just his illness. Our boys, 8 and 10, love him, and even that doesn't seem to be enough to keep him from the brink. I feel as I am a hostage in my own life...I would love for him to come back and be who I married. I don't know if it is possible. I wait and hope. He is a good person, always so caring. He is just lost in his mind. So, with that...the reason I cannot leave him. If it were me in his place...I really don't think he would abandon me. Something definitely has to change. I will give it some more time and pray. If I leave him, with no job, no home etc...he will definitely give up, as he would so love to do. Sometimes, I look at him and I know he simply wishes that I hadn't found him. Sad.

Well....here is an update. Did 10 ECT treatments. No negative side effects. Also...didn't work! He took himself all meds in March and didn't tell me. Guess where he was last week? Yep psych ward! Was reeling in suicidal thoughts. Stayed in a week. Forgot to mention that we are separated which is a good thing except I am still footing the bill. Still unemployed. Doesn't want to do the disability route. WTF! Hasn't worked in 4 years. I wish I didn't love him. I have finally comee to realize that sometimes love doesn't matter. Need to save myself. I cannot save him or give him the will to live. I have always been able to fix whatever was wrong....I cannot "fix" this.

Hugs to all of you for the pain you've been through. And healing.

xo

thanks. wish it didn't hurt so much