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ellswim  Posts: 203
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I just got home & let the dog out the back. When I opened the door the papers fell to my feet, awaiting my signature. I feel like I'm going to die. I called him and he just kept saying,, "are you going to sign them or not?" he said he's not sad because he's accepted it and he's moved on. I'm signing them. I quit. |
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taylynn Posts: 1866
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I'm sorry Ells...you can't change his mind...sign them, no point not doing it..I know some of them are really sick, but wow, it still amazes me how they go from from one extreme to the other like that..I know why...and that helps..but it never ceases to amaze me...probably one day he will be very sorry for what he has done. I hope you move on with your life and find some joy Ells...I can imagine how hard this is for you. OHHHH, it must makes me MAD! HUGS!! If you want to know where your heart is …
Look where your mind goes when it wanders …
***************
I had been conditioned to think
I had the power to save him
I had been conditioned to believe
it was my responsibility to prevent it
and truth is
i am not qualified to do either. |
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behindthemask
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I'm sorry Ells... this can be a horrible saddening and maddening disease. I pray you heal and can look on this someday as a relief, that you didn't spend too many years with someone that may have done this to you if not now,, years down the road... Let that OW deal with him... trust me, you will be glad someday - 20 years of this can be a long crazy road... now focus on those red flags that Living posted for future reference... I am very sorry and I know it will be hard for some time, grieving is natural HUGS... |
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sososad51  Posts: 1985
VIP Member
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Ells, I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve this. You were a loving and supporting wife. You created a safe nest for him and he'll remember. Please know it's not your fault. I know anything I say won't be of comfort, but know that I'm thinking about you and holding you in my thoughts. Just let him go. You will be better off, even though it doesn't feel that way right now. Remember, "When you're going through hell, keep walking..." Let your pets & family get you through this difficult time. Hugs to you and your kitty & pup. |
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patientlove Posts: 1149
Senior Member
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Lots of hugs, ells. I am constantly worried that I'll find papers from DH one of these days, too.  That's so sad and so difficult. Go talk to a lawyer before you do anything. Just brace yourself, because it is going to be an ugly feeling having to talk about it. Nothing is final until the judge signs it. My heart goes out to you and you are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself! Get some support from your family and friends. (((ellswim))) Love is patient; love is kind... It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7). |
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timeforme  Posts: 565
Senior Member
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Ells, we are here for you for support. I feel so bad for you, no one deserves to be treated this way! Give it a little time and you will see the next victim get treated the same way. Maybe even start a little bonfire with some of his stuff. Or put a big picture right in the center of the dart board and give it a good shot. HUGS!! I am not a doctor and my opinion should only be regarded as such. I hope I can help others with my advice. |
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livinginablender Posts: 11289
Group Leader
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ells i have no words to make the loss any easier. i do know this some time from now...and not all that long ... you will feel better and be glad for it. If you have shared assets been married for some time dont sign them get a lawyer, protect yourself. If ya dont well...you dont even have to sign them. be a pain in his ass and make him wait like Custer. **thats just where I am at today** |
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maggiesdream Posts: 489
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Ells, It is a grieving process and it physically hurts, but I promise you will get over it eventually, stay strong and its time to turn the page and pretend like you don't give a shit, and you are ready for this nightmare to be over. This is terrible but as soon as my ex saw that I pretended to be over him and went out in public and well um, dropped his room mate off at his house early one morning and called the cops on one of his other friends for banging on my door and not going away. He started calling me and coming to my house and going to the same bars I went to and stuff like that, he still calls me about once a year and tries to fb me. Anyway, now I see how stupid he is and I don't have an ounce of regret. He is still a nothing, he still doesn't keep a job or a house or a car, or a wife or girlfriend , he cheats on them ,he still destroys things and he is still a psycho. That was 18 years ago, Can you imagine the diseases he must have? Yuck!!! Try to see him like that, and just believe in your heart you are a better person and there is a reason for everything. Take it as a learning experience and not a waste of time. It hurts like hell but I promise it will get better. Now, you can have some peace and try to just feel relief, you really have a burden lifted, let it be someone else's. |
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ellswim Posts: 203
Member
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He keeps texting me begging me to sign the papers or he'll go file alone. I told him to go ahead. He's so fricken cold! I can't believe this is my husband. I'm so sad. Crying at my desk, trying to hide my face. His last text said I don't want to be married to you anymore, deal with it. |
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sadsadhubby  Posts: 589
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Congratulations!!!! You have been set free!!!! No, I am not insenstive...read my entire story and you will how much I loss too. I was not going to abandone my wife...but when she filed for divorce and accused me of abuse, in hindsight she did me a favor. The pain was real...the sorrow great...the loss greater. But a few years from now you will look back and wonder how the hell you survived what he put you through. My best to you and prayers with you...but you will do fine and consider this the first steps into recovery and normalcy. sadsad I just thought things would go back the way they were because I thought that there was still a wonderful person with a heart that still loved me.
---why we stay with them, thanks sososad51
My love for her is eternal...see you in heaven.
Well, maybe not...that was then and this is now. Not enough of me...so all my love to my son, self, and future "her".
I've moved on physically and mentally....but my heart does'nt want to come along for the ride.
...thanks DrDiva
I have always been able to fix things....I can't "fix" this.
....Thanks, Southerskies
Stop living in hope....move on.
This disease changes our loved ones into becoming the monsters we never knew existed.
I have learned to mourn the Death of a Living person....for the one I loved 'died' years ago.
thanks, Crushedheart
We Will Never Forget...that they are the crazy ones not us! |
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