Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

I loved him, he’s very sensitive, and he has no affection, shows no affection. Can I kiss you NO! WHY ARE YOU SO CLOSE TO ME! Why did I love him, intimate when he wanted to be. I can’t ask him he always says NO! or nothing at all to me. No gifts on holidays because it’s not his thing. I can’t say or tell him anything. If I say the wrong thing he might blow up on me. I tried to make it work, I loved him, and this is the second breakup in 3-years. I can’t take it anymore he blew up on me again in the same manner that caused the 1st breakup, WOW!!! I gave him a second chance he blew it again, in his mind it’s all my fault. All I did was ask him a question, he always acts like I’m defending somebody else and not him, when I don’t offend or defend anyone. Consider me dead he told me hangs up the phone, hasn’t called me again.

I’m hurt but somewhat relived, I still love him but I can’t go back again. I’ve tried so hard to deal with him and actually make two-years out of it work. He’s never going to change and I don’t think I deserve this type of person in my life. He’s never going to commit to me probably had no intentions at all. He wants to be the one in control I can’t always let him because he’s not stable. It can work I know it can or maybe I’m just the one chasing after someone who doesn’t want to be with me.

I'm sorry you have to go thru that. Mine always accused me of "defending" my kids and not him..it gets old quick. It becomes one WOW after the next..at least that was my experience with an untreated bipolar spouse.

Big Hugs to you! I know it's hard!

Mine says the same thing. I never defend him. And he acuses me of letting his kids talk bad to him. And sticking up for my kids all the time. It isn't like he is showing them the love and support they need.

Wow I can totally relate. It is just SO HARD. It sucks. You are not alone!

There is no controlling an out of control train... without any treatment that's what he is and there's nothing you can do to make it better until he accepts treatment. Has he been dx? He may have to hit bottom before he realizes ther is anything wrong with him - the mania makes them think they are superman,, can do no wrong... the depressive state is when suddenly they realize they need help usually, or come back because they have no other options. If he does come back and you want to try - I would not take him until he goes to a pdoc and addresses this mental illness... its not fair for you to keep putting up with this insanity - it will make you feel insane!! You don't need that.

Stay strong - and take care of you, do what makes you happy right now HUGS...

Behindthemask, your right I want to stay sane he makes me insane and I already suffer with my own issues of depression, I don't need him bringing me down more, he has not tried to contact me and I'm kind of glad.

On some level

I believe they enjoy torturing us emotionally, mentally.

It is all about control.

You dont need this.

Relationships with an untreated bp person never work.

It is up to the individual themselves to accept treatment .

Sister Girl

make a decision with your intelligence,

not your emotions.

Decisions made with emotions are never good.

Livinginablender, you are so right I feel like I have been tortured emotionally and mentally dealing with him, and all this time the decision to deal with him were based on my emotions and not intelligence I just can't take my emotions getting hurt anymore. Right now I feel like I can't even show my emotions to anybody else my guard is always going to be up.

Yes.. untreated bipolar is playing the insanity game. And it's true when the mania is there... they get into alot of self destructive behaviour and take whoever their with along too... meaning dealing with all the horrible things as a result of that self destructive behaaviour. And yes. alot of times they want to come back to you if they left you either emotionally or physically, when they come back down and get depressed and I think it's alot of times because they have no other option. They can't function with normal ppl because of their highs and lows and if you were lucky enough to have met them long before this disease really started to come out.. well you are the old shoe that they feel comfortable with and will accept them no matter what. It's better than having no one. So, it's not love.. I don't think they know what love is. Everything is a game to them.. they go along with what they perceive other ppl do. They fake emotions and do what normal ppl do... because that is what is accepted.

Good luck.... I can relate to how they can have arguments and storm out and they have wills of steel, cause you and I just have to call them... and they can just forget about you so easily.... Go about their daily routine and not budge.

As a person with bipolar, I don't think it's true that all of us don't feel love when we're sick. We just don't always show it very well. We're certainly not always nice to the people we love.

I think it depends on how sick a person is. People who are REALLY manic or REALLY depressed probably don't feel real love when they are like that. They are just too ill.

A lot of us only get a little hypomanic or a little depressed, so we're not as badly affected. I love my husband like crazy all of the time, but I will admit that he drives me nuts when I'm either hypomanic or depressed. I still love him, but I wish I didn't have to deal with him, if you know what I mean.