Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

OK- everyone is saying watch for the red flags.

Here's the only 2 I saw- 1. drinking a little too much (which I thought was age related)

2. some financial mistakes (ditto)

Everything else started out as a normal relationship. Not speading too much time too soon, etc... even my therapist who I was seeing for job stress at time agreed....

OK ladies....

Tell me some of the more subtle red flags?

thanks

Post edited by: sososad51, at: 06/28/2011 04:06 PM

Some of the things I wish I would have seen earlier...

- the "ups" and "downs" in sex drive and sexual activity. It was either "feast or famine", as someone else described it.

- tendency to blame others instead of taking responsibility

- some impulsive and irrational decision making

- some degree of irritability

- tendency to be slightly "moody"

- tendency to occasional and random overspending

- some early indications of grandiosity

Irritability is a big one. I have that when I'm hypomanic AND when I'm depressed.

Also, anyone who has a history of broken relationships, including friends and family should send up big flags. Untreated bipolars tend to eventually drive everyone away.

If he can't get along with anyone else, he's not going to be able to get along with you for long, either.

he said his x wife abused him

his mom agreed.

FLAG !

He had several failed relationships and none lasting more than a few years, and that was on again off again thing. Wanting latch on right away, moving way too fast and saying I love you by the second conversation. Blaming everyone for his issues. Was on lorazepram for supposedly having PTSD. Drank way too much, and made excuses for drinking almost everyday. And was super nice and sweet, understanding to the point that I was blinded to all the signs.

yeah, 3 divorces, quick i love you, probably 2nd conversation too...lol..blame blame blame...heissmartsmartsmart, hedoesitbest! lol

so many flags

DUH on me!

His X wife had him served with a restraining order at my house.

FLAG!

that's a flag for sure!

b4 getting married I called him and a woman answered his phone! he said she was there using his oven to bake a frozen pizza. I then went over there..woman gone, no pizza smell and drunk fiance...FLAG!

he told me there was more than one reality.

FLAG

By the time we got married at 22, he'd slept with (literally) hundreds of people. FLAG.

Stories of his crazy behavior were all but legendary among his friends. FLAG.