Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

well shes out of my life again,i really dont think she was ever there.its a shame that they come in go like they do.whats so bad about it is she in i went to see the grandkids in they were so happy to see her now they are gonna be hurt all over again,asking about her all the time.my mother seem to not really show any feeling about her being back in our life. i think my mother didnt want to get hurt so she just downplayed her being back.seems she still sweeing other men,thats what was going on that nite when she changed plans.i knew she wasnt ready to work on her bpd.everytime i would say im going to a meeting she would not come in i wouldnt push it.it hurts like hell that she came back in still wont deal with her bpd.i dont even want to tell my mom that shes gone bc she might tell me i shoulnt have let her back in my life anyway.god how could i be so blind.now i feel just like i did when it all frist happened.they kill us with our love for them.this dont feel so hot my heart is broke again.

I'm sorry, I hope you can find some peace soon.

you are not blind, she is trying to keep you around (when she needs you for a moment), and they are master manipulators! you know this.. there is nothing wrong with you hoping she had changed and wanting to try again..you just have to remember that it may hurt your heart again.

love you!!

YKM: she'll be back again...

we are here for you - we know how you feel. she will be back, then probably leave, until something changes, nothing changes... hang in there! we are all doing the same... HUGS

omething change my sober date,i cant take this anymore so she can have it all,i never did anything to her but love her.another holiday gone its like get him on the holiday well nomore of that.i gave her myall theres nothing left for her to take.she didnt make me drink i wanted to stop the pain in it didnt work.how do you protect your heart when all you want is to have a life in you do all that you can to have it in then bam they come in taKEwhats left of a man that would die for you.im sorry for this but theres nothing left.

I'm so sorry Mike, I hate to hear that. Why when we feel so hurt do we take it out on ourselves? I do the same - when I have been hurt, I tend to think self destructively... I am so sorry you are hurting, you were doing so much better, and then BOOM that's when they come and bring you back down... I know what you mean. Don't let her control you like that - you stay sober for you,,, she is sick and obviously hasn't changed and doesn't want help. I know it's not that easy but take care of yourself, don't let her drag you back down with her... I hate to see that happen. Stay strong - guard your heart- now you REALLY know, right? She hasn't changed, and obviously is stil putting her wants first. (((MIKE)))

Post edited by: behindthemask, at: 05/30/2011 01:30 PM

oh km,

yep she's done it again grr, mike the only thing i can say is i'm sorry and you don't deserve this they get you in like a moth to a flame. Unfortunately you haven't reached that enough is enough stage. Back on the merry go round again. Don't be hard on yourself or kick yourself this is all part of the learning, i wish i could take away this pain your feeling, but i can't hang in there buddy xox

"im sorry for this but theres nothing left." ykm, there is something left, the only thing left is you. You mentioned a sober date, pick one, do it, the best thing you can ever do for yourself.... give it a try for a year if you don't like it you can go back, but try, its worth a try, you can do it, its not an ending but a new beginning.

now thats funny,i picked a sober date in 1994 ,how was every body holiday ,might i say mine was not that good im feeling sorry for myself i seen it coming in didnt get out the way.i took alot of pills but it didnt work.nothing that i do lately works ,im not fighting bpd anymore i cant win.i left her message on her phone she truned it off.im so drunk .why hurt me again they like knowing that were hurting .all you motherfuckers with bpd ,why keep hurting us.i wish all of you would die.so you can know how it feels to be hurt like this .well im gonna get off now in go do somemore drinking fuck god he dont love me in i dont love him.all i got is i want to die