Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

I'm so annoyed with my BPS's family right now. They are being so unsupportive. They get it when it has to do with other people, but not their own son. Their reactions feel exaggerated and them getting mad at him for stuff only seems to make things worse. I think sometimes his father's comments are triggers for him. Right now, they're mad at him and decided to cut me off too. In fact, they told him they want nothing more to do with him. They're just mad bc he always cancels visits to see them. That's it!

It makes me so mad bc they complained about how much they've been hurt. What about me? I know he's hurt me WAY more than he's hurt them; I am not related to him, but chose to stick by him and support him.

I have NO idea how to handle this, since they won't even answer our calls. I have a lot of patience, but this is driving me nuts! We're not in high school!

Post edited by: patientlove, at: 05/28/2011 02:41 PM

Post edited by: patientlove, at: 05/28/2011 02:41 PM

hi patient,

boy i know how that feels!. It's such crap when the family doesn't support you with your partner. It's like they just put this wall up and say he's all your good luck with that! support is so important. I've found that the family's with siblings with bp don't know how to handle their family member so they just bury their heads in the sand and hope it goes away, your not alone here patience. I would seek other support friends perhaps your family (mum, dad, brothers and sisters) if you have them, our join a face to face support group, where you can get some one on one support that's what i did, because the bottom line is i think it all comes down to ignorance, or not wanting to know about it. A suggestion... Are you able to approach his family and tell them how you feel in a nice way and ask for that support, you may not be able to but it's worth a shot, anyway we are here for you

Post edited by: jennifer63, at: 05/28/2011 06:02 PM

It is unfortunate that this family does not get it with there son. Jen you hit it with the word ignorance, because that is what it is.

Sorry for him and you who are not getting the support that you trully need from them.

Patient: Fascinating that they don't support him emotionally, since BP disorder is 100% GENETIC.... It's hiding in the family background somewhere, and they either don't want to face it or admit it. I guarantee it.

thanks sifted )

I agree Warhorse

they are refusing to look at something there.

It could be too

they are just burnt out.

There is high burn out of family and friends when dealing with mental illness.

My Partners family

have just had it.

I usta think they were just jerks.

Truth is

he had blown up their relationships.

They tried

and tried

and tried

to help him.

They were getting hurt trying to help him.

It went on for years and years....

and they finally had to cut him loose to save themselves.

I get that.

Early in our marriage,

they blamed me, he did too. It was a smoke screen created by him.

Wonderful diversion.

I stepped back...was not around...

his meltdown..was at their place and I was not around for them to focus on. They HAD TO look at it for what it was...

NOT A RELATIONSHIP ISSUE.

duh.

I agree that people can just burn their families out, especially if they have refused treatment or don't stick to treatment. I have to admit that I'm sympathetic to that. Why should people, including my family, put up with my shite when it's happening because I am not doing what I need to do to get treatment?

Sometimes treatment comes too late. The bridges have all been burned already. People can only take so much. We all have a breaking point. It's sad, but true that we can all reach our limit with the people in our life. Even family.

I agree with that as well living, it is the other side of the coin and very true,i think it depends on what has happened within in the family unit. I know from my own experience that my brother who has schizophrenia, has been totally ignored by my other brothers and was treated like shit by them all his life , they just don't want to know about him.

There own lives are too important. My ex who has bp was the same with his family they just didn't want to know so they buried there heads in the sand and hoped everyone else would look after him. Did he burn them out yes did my brother burn us out yes did my ex burn me out yes did my mother burn me out totally, but not once did i bury my head in the sand and say ok i don't want to know about this anymore and walked away. (except when my relationship ended with him) but everyone is different and not all families can cope i do understand that, but anyway i'm speaking from my own experience. Mine is just one story every situation is different and everybody is different in handling situations..

Post edited by: jennifer63, at: 05/30/2011 01:43 AM

I'm sorry you're having to deal with everything by yourself...

I agree, maybe they are just burnt out. I can see that happening.