Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

and it's making me cranky!

Telling him to chill out is a bad idea, but it's really what I want to say! :-D

I just commented on your original post to remember where you were coming from Did you ever find a different pdoc for him and get the right meds? Not Prozac? My husband can be the same way, I'm sure they need a mood stabilizer med if he doesn't have one (mine doesn't ) Hang in there... it's tough I know! Chill out has been a motto of mine for a LONG time!! But I don't say it... LOL

As much as we all wish they could chill, it's not in their make up. Has he been back to pdoc for med adjustments? Is he seeing anyone about his behavior? Although he may be the one with a diagnosis, you also have to take care of yourself. Make sure you know all the crisis numbers, for you, and for him. To read the amount of destruction (previous post) that he has done is beyond anything that I would perceive as cranky or non violent. As long as you are under the same roof, you will have to find ways to de-escalate situations. (this is something my SO's pdoc said to me in the beginning, but I thought HE was crazy) Obviously when he's full blown, you can't have a true discussion, so don't waste your energy on it. When everything has calmed, that's when you will have more luck communicating. Set limits, don't make empty threats. Walk away when necessary. (that alone has helped me) He is an adult, and he has a responsibility to act as one. If that means he must be on meds, then so be it. If that means he has to admit to himself that he has an issue, then he needs to accept it. The key to moving forward is knowing where you stand and deciding that you can only move forward by taking positive steps.

He's seeing a few people.. one for meds and one for therapy, I guess? I didn't know they weren't done by the same person (at least, they aren't at this specific location). He is off the prozac (thank god, that was terrible) and on a mood stabilizer. they want to add in a different mood stabilizer (or replace the one he's on? I don't have my notes in front of me) with something that works a bit more on the "lows" (which he's had a lot of lately)... the idea of changing meds makes me nervous, but I'm guessing this doc knows what he's doing!

He's sleeping, eating, getting out of bed, going to work and actually working (rather than sleeping at his desk), showering, shaving, and doing laundry... so I'm guessing he's not too bad (usually, he either won't get out of bed or won't sleep at all if he's not doing well). He's just melodramatic and anxious -- every thing makes him either elated or miserable. I'll ask the doc about it next appointment.

My parents own a house about 3 blocks (small blocks) from ours.. they are never there, but keep it because my college-age brother comes there on his breaks. Last time they were around, I asked them for the key and the alarm code, so that I can go there if I need to get away somewhere. The idea of me leaving him "alone" when he's manic or so depressed was VERY hard for him (he doesn't have a key, or the alarm code, and he's authorized to talk to the alarm company if the alarm were to go off)... I've only used it once (he wasn't manic or raging or anything, he was just soo depressed and "doom'n'gloom" that it was making me depressed) since then, and he was so unhappy about it.. but the idea that I will just walk away from him if I need to for my own peace of mind seems to make him feel more responsible for himself.. AND being off the prozac is certainly helping.

I am glad you have somewhere you can go to get away. Don't feel guilty about that. If you are going to be of any help to him you have to take care of yourself!

Yes (atleast here) the pdoc only does med management and a therapist is seperate.

We have the same situation in my town, there are only a few Psychiatrists that can dx and prescribe meds. That has been the problem getting my husband to follow thru,, however we are hanging in there for now. He gets anxious easily too, everything is a "mountain" in his life, I have to continually reassure him it will be okay... he is very clingy right now, and emotional. The dr prescribed xanax for a "quick fix" for his anxiety - it kicks in quickly, but can make him sleepy so he is frugal with that. Maybe something like that or klonopin could help (anti-anxiety meds)? I would call the dr and maybe they can prescribe something hopefully, maybe without him having to go in.

Remember when his meds change that it may take a while to see the impact. Sometimes weeks, sometimes even months for the full effect. Having him see a psychiatrist and a psychologist is definitely good. The meds will help, but he must also work on how he thinks, etc. Meds won't do that part for him. Oh how I wish my SO would see a psychologist.

I might call re: an antianxiety tomorrow. I think it'd make his life easier, and mine, if he could take the edge off a bit. As is, even @ work he calls me multiple times/day some days, when the anxiety gets too bad, and I have to talk him through it.