Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

Not really sure how to start as I feel what I have been through the last 6 months is nothing compared to what I have read in these forums. In a nutshell after 8 years of marriage, two children and our own business, my husband "flipped out". After having to call the police and admit him against his will into a hospital without having any idea what was happening ( I thought he had a tumor or something), we were told he was Bipolar. Since he left the hospital 30 days later he has gone through a lot. Anything from deep depression ( never had before), to angry and I have a feeling he is still in denial. I can see I am lucky as he is not an addict and doesn't drink however I am not sure what to expect. I have so many querstions, so many fears, insecurities and there are times I feel I am the one who is loosing it. He is taking his meds however they have not found the right cocktail and we keep going back and forth with the depression. He has become very selfish, and is completely uninterested in how I am doing and what I have gone through. I love him with all my heart and have done everything in my power to help him go through this difficult time. Unfortunatelly though we have two small children and our relationship is starting to suffer a lot, consequently so are the kids. It doesn't help that we have lost our business, are in the middle of loosing our house and are having to start over.

I am not sure what I am looking for in this group, maybe a light at the end of the tunnel?! maybe someone to tell me it will get better and that our relationship deserves me to keep trying?! or even a good old "get out as fast as you can"! either way, I could use any and I mean any suggestion, advice or ideas, I am just so scared this is the end of our happy life I can barelly function. ( I even feel guilty for feeling this way).

Thanks for listening...

Hoping4peace

Hoping.... It CAN get better. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes quite a while for them to get the meds straight. Took four years for my husband.... How old is he? Stress is a major trigger, which is probably what made it surface in the first place.

Do you have any close family? Is there anyone else the kids can stay with right now? How old are they?

As long as he is willing to try, you should help him if you can. Also understand, BP is a very self-absorbed illness. He probably barely even 'sees' you right now. This is 'normal'.

He is 36, and yes, we have been stressed over money, etc...the kids are 6 and 3. So far they don't know what is happening and I would not let them away from me, unless extremely necessary...they did spend a few days with grandma when I had to run around looking for him and getting the police to take him to the hospital. He seems to want to get better, he is so far going through the steps...therapy, pdoc, and he has started to read the bible a lot, which we never did before so I'm not sure about that! Is it dangerousvall the time to be with a bp person? Is there a time where things are good? I feel like I woke up in a nightmare and cannot get out of it. Everyday is something different and unexpected...

Hoping: There are lots of experienced people here who can offer you advice...I hope things improve for you soon...take care of yourself...your kids need you.

Thank you guys so much for your kind words, I truly does help to know I'm not alone!

Hoping: You will NEVER be alone.... Every person on this bb has gone thru something similar to you. We all 'get it'....

They are only a danger if they become psychotic/delusional. Research this.... I think you will know it if you see it. Mine has never been. Tends more toward the depressive side.

Oh yeah, I will never forget his eyes as he told me "they" could hear us . How do you do it for so long? I have done this for six months and I feel I'm the one who needs psychotic help!

On another note, when he is depressed I don't know what to do or say... Any suggestions? He just lays there catatonically looking at the walls for hours...when he talks is to say how horrible everything is...

Hoping: I have a trademarked asbestos suit of armor that I wear all the time.... I just got used to it, after so many years....

I don't interact with my husband when he's depressed. Nothing you say will get thru, so you're better off not interacting. Feed him if he will eat, let him sleep as much as possible... CALL THE PDOC AND LET THEM KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING!