Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

He just said can't we just go to sleep

It's been a bad day ..

we are doing the best we can

then he woke up a little to lay hands on me and say a little prayer for me

bless his heart

I just wish he'd see his need for meds

I just told him everything I told him (short and sweet)

but that this is KILLING me

and that I just can't be in this state, I just can't

Sigh

He said Go Tomorrow and get yourself an Apartment

hmmmm

he doesn't want me to leave

I don't want to leave

But what I want isn't happening

No change is happening

I can't stay in this state where I feel like I am having a heart attack

Like my whole body has been taken over by stress/anxiety

There is a limit

I experienced the chest pain today...just talking to mother in law...and it just feels like it will take me out.

I don't feel like I can even be in the same room with my guy right now-I'm just so uptight.

I asked mother in law to help husband by meeting some of his emotional needs.

She says they are trying and heard about the cock fight he got into.

They are worried and trying to help.

Mother in law said father in law tried to listen this morning on the phone about all husband's work stress...and said he finally couldn't listen any more and had to hang up.

Husband just called me and needed me on the phone while he rummaged through the house looking for Dayquil. He needs someone to just listen.

I feel like I have to do that so he doesn't feel abandoned.

It will wear a person out dealing just with all the expectations and activity.

My husband has only slept 2-3 hours a night he is reporting while I've been gone.

Then when the ugly starts coming at me....well I'm already worn out-can't take any more.

Hang in there. : )

Lorrie, I found it was easier to talk to J after I left, and by phone - I was too afraid when I was home. Maybe getting away for awhile would wake him up, and maybe you could talk to him better? I know I had to get to a point thatI had no choice - I was going insane and things HAD to change - I usually hate change, it takes a lot for me...

HUGS

I know about just listening to rantings,,, sometimes I feel like a sounding board - but it seems to help him get it out...

Lori

sounds like you need a break from the chaos and stress..it hurts and wears your body down and your spirit..

whoever said "love is blind" was wrong...

it's alive, pulsing, real, precious and when it's contorted or being tested, or simply gone, the pain is searing..

I never wanted my marriage to NOT work..I still don't..

my whole self was crumbling and I was becoming ill myself

i could not take it anymore..

so i'm on the other side now.

fighting for just a wee bit of relief from the pain and guilt..

yet healing oh so slowly...but I miss him..the good sweet him, that prayed for me like your hubby did for you.

I found out today he is in the hospital and very sick.

I hope he gets back on meds and gets straightened out.

Can you go stay with your mom for a few days...take the kids and go. Call his bluff.

I'm sorry hun, Can your pastor talk to him?

My husband will not "hear" what I say but will "hear" it when coming from someone else.

Use his faith

tell him your praying for him

John 10:10

Lorrie: I take it he's not medicated? Has he ever been diagnosed?

I would never again live with a BP person who wasn't medicated. Sheer madness.

If my husband had told me to go and get an apartment, as long as I could take my child - I would have left for sure Mine was controlling and wouldn't let me go - I remember even asking him to just "let me go.."

I think he knows he really needs me for stability, he knows he needs help.

At the time I had no more to give, I was sucked dry.

God gave me srength - He can help you too -

HUGS

Lori, I am so sorry. I know you love him, but you need to get your own place. It sounds like you're both being drained. Warhorse and Behind the Mask- I couldn't agree with you both more. I would have given any thing for Jon to let me go. And I would and will never ever ever live with a bipolar person again that isn't on medication. Its entirely insane and to live that way is just plain madness!

Oh I feel for you. I am in your shoes right now so to speak. The same exact thing. Why can't he take meds? And do you see the irrationality of it all.. he tries to comfort you by saying a little prayer... you've told him you are at the end of your rope... he apparently loves you, but he's telling you to move out to solve the whole thing. Now, do you see the complete craziness of this.

You can either stay and live with it... I am doing that, but he works away most of the time.. so it's sort of like being separated. Or leave if you just can't take it. Maybe once he realizes you are really gone, maybe he will get it and get medicated.

Peace to ya.

Post edited by: frazzled, at: 05/15/2011 10:17 PM

Ones who suffer with BP can lack insight to their illness~ Its a very sad part of the illness.

http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/bipolar-spouses- discussions/general-support/2701353-anosognosia-the-most- devastating-symptom-of-menta

A great tool for dealing with your untreated BPSO is the book "I'm not sick, I don't need your help."