Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

So my wife is Bipolar. She has a kid and is worried that along with her other medical problems, having BPD will get him taken away. and we are having some serious problems. she has been in a bad low for over a month and i just dont know what to do. plus she is treating me like she resents me and i cant figure out why. any suggestions?

I'm sorry to hear you're going through a rough patch.

Welcome to the group.

I don't have many suggestions for you but I do try to stay level when my partner gets shaky on me. It's very hard because I often get upset when he does but I do try to stay on an even keel with him.

I have anxiety and a tendency to get knocked down with my heart if I get too upset I can't get into yelling matches or anything like that or it would knock me right down so I don't have much choice but to just play it cool with my guy.

Post edited by: damselndistress, at: 04/12/2011 06:01 PM

Simba: Unless she agrees to get help there's not much you can do. If she threatens suicide, call 911 and they will hospitalize her.

Welcome, That is a lot to deal with, I'm sorry.

If she is worried about lossing her kid....use that!! Tell her if she doesn't get treatment she WILL lose him, they will take him, and you'll make the phone call.

Sometimes loved ones need our direction cuz they don't know what to do, don't fight with her...be firm.

Get treatment or lose your child...its your choice.

My huband got treatment cuz I put my foot down and gave him 6 months...get treatment or get out. He didn't think he was sick...didn't want to take meds...but wanted his family more.

This child is the most important one in your family now...put his needs first...over hers over your own.

Wishing you all the best and keep us posted.

I don't know if telling her that she will lose the child if she doesn't get treatment will help. This could be the truth though ... Without treatment they can be impossible. It is a mental illness. Thats why you can't figure out why she is doing what ever she is doing sometimes. She is not always logical or rational. Telling her directly that treatment or her child could help - or not. If she feels cornered and trapped then she could do anything like all cornered people and animals can an often will. Read a lot about bipolar disorder, you will find some answers. I am sorry you are in this situation right now.

So she KNOWS she has Bipolar? Has she been to a psychiatrist and been prescribed meds? I wouldn't think her child could be taken away if she complies with her doctor. But she HAS to keep taking them and follow up with her dr, maybe get involved in a support group to help her moods?

I had to give an ultimatum too for my husband to admit he had a problem... sometimes it takes tough love to get their attention, and I am usually the timid type - I just finally couldn't take it anymore and snapped. it was either change, or all my love was gone - it has definately diminished and needs work after 20 years of this.

Reassure her if she is low, that you love her and want the best, but when she is manic or irritable, let her know, you aren't going to own it and I get away for awhile if I can... somehow she needs to be aware of what she is doing, and they can't always see it themselves I think.

I wish you the best - keep posting -

Post edited by: behindthemask, at: 04/13/2011 07:17 AM

Yeah you really do know her best...trust your gut. You heart can fool you.

Thank you every one. I might have done something not so good. i was mad at how she was making me feel so i decided to show her and treated her the same. she got really upset by it and was super mad. But later last night she finally opened up about some of what has been bothering her. and she admitted to feeling better. This was part of the reason i did it. that and maybe she will realize her mean comment before she says it and stops. Wish me luck in the fact that so far it has worked and maybe i can get her out of this d*mn low.

Yeah - when I yell back it has NEVER gone well... that tactic just doesn't work - I think part of this BP is the words come out before the brain processes them...

So to get them to thinkfirst or at least show them after what you heard, it may help them recognize when they are being unkind...

Sometimes J means it, but there are times he has no clue. I'm just learning this.

yea it took me a minute to realize it to. i didnt yell i was just sorta off standish, mand commented, things like that. but it sorta worked. i wish you luck in you adventures with ur BP man