Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

have you ever just wanted to hurt the bp PERSON BC THEY HAVE DESERTOYED YOUR LIFE,I MEAN HURT THEM SO BAD.IN NOT CARE WHAT HAPPEN TO YOURFELF.ITS LIKE YOU WANT TO GET EVEN WITH THEM .YOU WANT THEM TO FEEL HOW YOUR FEELING,THIS FEELING SCARES ME.YOU ASK YOURSELF OVER IN OVER WHY IN HOW COULD THEY DO THIS.YOU STARTTO THINK THAT THEY SHOULD PAY FOR WHAT THEY HAVE DONE.THESE THINGS GO THROUGH MY MIND .ALL THE TIME.MAN THATS MESSED UP.WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES I CAN SEE ME HURTING THE PERSON THAT HURT ME.THEY GO OUT IN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT. IN WE ARE STUCK HOLDING THE BAG. I DONT KNOW HOW THEY CAN BE SO UNFEELING . I JUST WANT TO BE ALWRIGHT AGAIN,I CANT STOP THINKING.LORD GOD TAKE THIS FEELING FROM ME.

I want what is due to me....

I may never get it from my bp spouse.

I want him to care for me and care for my children in physical and emotional ways he is not able.

I don't want to hurt anyone...I just want us to have what is missing to fill that huge pit of neglect that bp takes away from my family.

They will get theirs someday - I believe in karma...

You do what's right, and it will come back to them if they don't change their ways.

That's my belief.

I'm trusting God cuz I have no other choice right now!

Is that the lesson in all this?

Let it work itself out. I want these people to get help, but there is only so much we can do. We have to live and let go of the hurts, it takes time but would make our lives more fulfilled.

If you feel that strongly about wanting to cause someone that kind of pain, you need to just leave.

That is not a natural or healthy feeling to have.

I Totally agree with you behind,

*Karma will get them*! what comes around goes around! and killing-me, you really do want to just smack their heads in!, I've found understanding that part of their illness has helped me understand what makes them tick, and even tho it makes no difference to how you feel towards them, at least i know why they do it!. You see, when they are in psychosis, and mania, they are very narcissistic, which means they have NO EMPATHY, no feelings, are self centred, selfish, it's all about me, myself, and i, and what's left over is me!, and they just don't care who they hurt, what they say to hurt you, all they want is their "narcissistic supply"!! (attention), and love to cut you to your very soul! been there done that toooooooooooo many times, so what i did, was research narcissism on the net "NPD" they call it which is "narcissistic personality disorder", and unfortunately it is a part of the illness, it's the most hideous part of the illness there is, because that is the part you never forget.

The pain they inflict upon you is indescribable, but towards the end i was able to "cope" a little better coz i gained knowledge,so killing-me, do some research on the net, and you will start to understand, it won't make things better and you wont hurt less, but it will help you deal with it better, and there are coping strategies that you can use. Just know all ppl are not like this! YOU ARE LOVED! and no there is nothing wrong with you. You have done nothing to deserve this, it's not about you it's about them, it's THEIR issues! stay strong and don't believe a word she tells you ATM because lying is part of it too! keep in touch, and try to be kind to you...

Post edited by: jennifer63, at: 03/14/2011 05:45 PM

yourkillingme, I'm sorry your in this much pain. You need to talk to someone, a pastor, parent, friend. These feelings your having are not healthy.

No I have never closed my eyes and see myself hurting someone like that.

You are suffering and need support, more then just venting on line. We are here for you however you have to takecare of yourself.

THANKS BUT I NEED TO TELL HOW IM FEELING ,IM GETTING IT OUT OF ME IN WHEN I DONT IT GETS WROSE. YAll knows what im feeling,thats why i talk to you. i dont want that running in my head.so i tell someone. one min i know its bpd in the next i think its her.that tore my life apart.i want to fight but who do you fight.this is a nitemare.

To me it's a feeling of wanting to get control of the situation.

It's hard to accept we can't.

And unbelievable how far out some of this stuff gets.

yourkillingme, i feel for you, i know how hard it can be. One minute you love them and forgive everything and say it s the illness and that you love them anyway and that it s not their fault, and the next minute you hate them with every fiber of your body, you hate them for being so inhuman, for causing you pain and not caring about it, you hate them for messing up with your brain. I d say these negative feelings are the worst, they re destructive and very painful. I didn't want to harm my ex, but i did have peak when i wanted to tell him how much he fucked my mind and how much i hate him and i wanted him to hurt for hurting me and being as indifferent about it as a stranger never would.

These break ups are very painful, they bring in lots of emotions and pain and, yes, it does feel like a nightmare. But it will pass. I promise. Try to get some peace, try to enjoy yourself... try to forgive. Hang on there!

I think, it is O.K. to THINK about revenge, and other thoughts of mahem..

it is normal when someone hurts you to think about blowing up their car.

i believe that.

yeah.

if I was not mad as hell, or thinking about blowing up their car, or something....to that effect..

i would be void of feelings completely.

like, uh..dead.

really.

sally knows what I am sayin.

it is NOT OK to act on it.

oh , killingme.....

WHY the caps ?

I am trying to understand ..are you expressing your anger ?

Are you yelling ?

Am I missing something here ?

Post edited by: livinginablender, at: 03/15/2011 01:14 AM