Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

I don't like the position I am in.

Being dependent on my husband is not a good thing.

I don't like the way it feels and I'm just going to have to find a way to cope with this and hope it only lasts for a season.

did he give you the reigns of the money, damsel? how are you dependent on him?

i am sorry, but I am just not totally clear.

If you are currently relying on your husband for income and share your accounts with him/do not have credit cards in your name, etc., do these things to start extricating yourself from the situation.

1) ING Direct - You can open a bank account online by transferring money in from your other account. It's easy, they have free ATMs and it's paperless, so statements won't come to your house. Basically, you won't have to answer your husband's questions if you go this route or make a physical stop.

http://home.ingdirect.com/index.html

2) Open your own separate credit card now, before things get worse financially or you have to leave. You don't have to use the card, but having it available before you might need it is better. Apply as "homemaker" and use his income amount. http://Bankrate.com has an excellent rundown of the cards and products available.

3) Start accounting for all of your needs and expenses now. Keep every receipt and make an excel spreadsheet. You can use Google Docs instead if you have a shared computer, so he can't access it.

4) http://Mint.com is a godsend for #3, and feeling in control. Get all of your household account information and plug it in. It's safe and secure. You can get alerts on activity and breakdowns of expenses. If you can, get his banking information too. This will be online banking account sign in information.

Financial control is a very real form of abuse. The aim is to take away your freedom and make you reliant on him so you will not be able to leave. A healthy relationship is a voluntary one.

Hang in there.

I was dependent on my husband. Thats why the devastation in my life was so overwhelming when he became manic and ruined it all. You are being realistic when you don't like the situation of being dependent on a bipolar spouse. Nothing bad needs to happen, but you can begin to take all the necessary steps to gain more control over your own life. Spouses of bipolar people need to be strong and in control, everything else is really dangerous. You don't need to control everything now, but you can take steps to more independence.

Dependent was the biggest mistake I made, only thing it was not because I didn't work. I did work outside the home, but all decisions were his and that was fine until one day you have to make them and you can't remember how.

But no worries you can do it again.