Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

after all of the 5 years that I stuck by my BF he sent me a text message about a month ago stating that " I am letting you go, I am tired of the abuse. I do not want you and don't call"....I have been reluctant to post this because i have been in grief and shock. MF says I was abusive!For a man, any man to tell you they do not want you hurts like a mo-fo, to read this from someone you persevered with for so long down right feels like a serious injustice! May I add the reason for this text message:

I was starting to feel a little suspicious since he had becomemore reclusive and it got to a point where he would tell me that if I wanted to see him to come before 1:30 or that don't call after 7 pm because he is going to bed. So honestly folks, I got a lil curious and I texted him one night after I had broken my ankle and I just needed his support. He came over my house on a sunday after I broke my ankle, stayed for one hour and then said he had to leave...sooooooooo, I was feeling suspicious. The next two days were uneventful until that wednesday when he told me not to call after 5. I texted hima message as to why and then I called him on it. Basically I was like "whats up" this is strange...and that is when I received this message.....The wonderful gift after all these years of being by this mother flowers side! after that message I sent one back simply stating "thank you for letting me go. I was happier before we got together, believe it! Now hopefully I can find someone who will make me smile again after all of the years of crying I did with you. Good luck and God bless".....

of course I feel like shit...and I feel like this whole experience has ruined my faith in people...I will never...ever again.......

cindy

I am glad you posted. god, that was so wrong what he did. It is not uncommon (as you know by now) that we get these abusive false accusations from the bp person. My ex said I abused him , too. He dumped me for *abuse*. WTH?? He lied and told people he had the police drag me out of our home on several occassions! It NEVER happened! Drag me to where??

Yeah, you were right to suspect him. That sort of behaviour leads straight to suspicion. I know you are hurting bad, but trust me. You are better off now.

Keep posting.

What a load of crap.

I've gotten things like that too.

He has to get away from me because he can't take the abuse any more.

Projection, projection, projection.

How can a person's mind get so twisted up that they see everything backwards.

Oh actually I guess I know the answer to that question.

According to Tom when a person is abusive the brain is hearing the words and cannot discriminate that those words are not intended for the self. So yeah he imagines that there was abuse and there really was but the sender/receiver of that isn't what he imagines.

maybe I think he just never loved me but loved himself a whole lot. I am heartbroken and angry at the same time. Of course everyone in my life is telling me how good this is. But inside I feel like somehow I failed. This is what is the worst thing. After all of the abuse, mind games and confusion I am left with feeling somehow,,,,guilty,,,like it was my fault. I have actually found myself thinking maybe I was not enough... so much I have to get over now. I cannot wait until I can look back on this one day and say " I overcame this"/

cindy

Those feelings are classic of anyone who has just left an abusive relationship (of the one who was abused). Guilt. Shame. Remorse. Failure. All mixed up, because those feelings should belong to him, but somehow in the enmeshment of the relationship they ended up belonging to you. He twisted it all up so much, you ended up carrying his bag of crap.

I say, put the bag down and walk away.

No one is ever enough for an abuser whether they are bp or not. They are bottom less pits.

Thanks rch/I am so glad I talked with all of you. It was on my mind for a while to post but I just felt so sad and in a depression myself.

My ex (4 year relationship) also dumped me THIS time by text. I think it is part of their depressive cycle. The need to isolate themselves.

Sorry to hear about your situation, just know you aren't alone.

Back about 6 years ago, I broke my ankle and got stuck on crutches for 5 months. My wife at the time (ex now) was so supportive of me that she took a week long trip to the Bahamas, leaving me with our two kids (7 and 3 at the time). (yes, being sarcastic about the support part)

Her reasoning was that I ruined her entire summer by purposely breaking my ankle, so she deserved a vacation. (manic much?)

Hope you have a quick recovery on the ankle!

Post edited by: ConfusedDad, at: 11/16/2010 02:25 PM

Isn't the worst part when you are sitting on the couch by yourself with crutches and all,wondering why are you alone after all you did for that person. - felt really betrayed at that point and it helped me to see clearly that this person would never be what I needed him to be for my sake. I have been dizzying myself reading everything on forgiveness because I seriously just want to put this all behind me

Cindy, Bless your heart I have been there. And I feel for you so much right now. During my relationship with my BP spouse at one point I was the only one holding down a job. I had my own commercial cleaning company. I scaled back because of expense to doing it alone. I cleaned three factories..big factories alone, 7 days a week at night. After a period of time I became so exhausted that I was coming down the stairs at one of the factories and passed out. My postassium level bottomed out and caused my heart to go into arrhythmia. I fell down the stairs and broke both of my feet. My BPSO gave me so much grief for that. How were we going to make it ect...I walked on one foot broken for 3 mo. cause I would only tell them I hurt one of them. By the time I told them it could not be set because I had waited too late. I did that so I would not have to face him knowing both were broke. Sick huh? Finally he left, telling everyone he had to get out because I would not go out anywhere and he was sick of it. Where we lived at the time there was 24 inches of snow.....I had two broken feet.... So I understand what you are going thru and I am so very sorry for your pain right now.

Post edited by: Di27, at: 11/17/2010 04:10 AM