Hey everybody, I made it back from the new counselor. She is very good. She listened to my Forrest Gump recount of this past year and I told her that personally I feel that I'm already on the road to recovery, but that I did have a few things I wanted to work on....1) helping my husband any way I can to achieve the utmost in his mental care, etc. and 2) Getting better self esteem, since I honestly have lost alot even though I intellectually do understand why things happened this year the way they did. I also told her I don't like people making fun of my husband for being mentally ill. (I've never heard them, but I've had people--even family/friends act like they think he did what he did JUST BECAUSE HE DID!!! And to me that is making fun of him. Sheesh! Anyway, she was very informative. She gently went over all the story that I gave her (which all of you have heard a million times). And she told me that I should focus on the emails the other woman sent me that "showed" the things that my husband said that are "out there" and that will help settle in my mind that he wasn't thinking clearly at the time. She also told me to focus on the strange behavior he exhibited at that time and let that be a reassurance that it is not in my head and that he was definitely ill and had nothing to do with me. It wasn't my fault. She also told me that it was highly unusual for the woman to contact me with the type of information she did, and that it seemed almost as if she was seeking "comfort" from me by telling me that my husband decided not to sleep with her when he met up with her that time. Also, the different odd things she discussed with me and her seemingly unending interest in discussing her past sex life with my husband (almost 30 years ago in college) indicated that she obviously has some mental issues of her own. The counselor said that she doesn't like to diagnose an individual without seeing them, but that she would almost say this woman sounds a bit borderline disorder. She said of course she can't be sure, but she DOES know she definitely has some type of personality disorder. (I had shared EVERYTHING that she wrote in emails.) I did have to edit a few on here because they were rank nasty. Anyway, I asked the counselor if she thought I was normal, because I have wondered about that, since its been nearly a year since everything had happened and I can't stop thinking about it. And she said, "No, I don't think you have anything wrong with you. You were deeply hurt and you didn't expect your husband to do anything like to you. I do think that you are a very funny person, though!" I have to admit I had her laughing alot of the time. I couldn't have done that a few months ago. I give you guys on mdjunction the credit for that!!!! I have another appt with her in December to work on the above mentioned issues. And next time I'm taking my hubby so she can meet him. She isn't going to be working with us as a couple, but she wants to meet him and get to know him next time... Well, just wanted to update everyone. Take care. Love ya!!!!! Lollipop Oh, yeah, one additional thing....I had even begun to wonder if my husband was truly bipolar. I don't know why I was wondering... , but she listened and said I shouldn't wonder that ever again... Post edited by: lollipop, at: 10/26/2010 02:43 PM Post edited by: lollipop, at: 10/26/2010 04:25 PM YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT!!!! IF I DID...ANYONE CAN.
Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.” Lewis B. Smedes
I am not a doctor, my advice is purely my opinion.
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