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10/18/2010 01:57 PM


Posts: 83

well, here we go again!!

The past few days I havent been on here much. I have been sick, and things here at home havent been too awful.

Woke up this morning, took the girls to school, took hubby to work, and did some errands.

Started getting strange texts from hubby about an hour ago. 1 random word, weird wording, really bad misspellings and total back and forth attitude.

He told me he would be done work soon. And he was happy cause he wanted to see me "closer than soon". I asked if I should come get him now and got a broken message "Come by, I miss u and want to. See u. Stay. Put, wally will brinG me home later".

I tried to call him and he didnt answer,it went to voicemail

He called me back and asked what was wrong with me and demanded to know why I would call him and hang up??

I told him it went straight to his vm. He didnt believe me.

He wanted to know what my problem was and why I was acting strange.

Hes obviously manic.

And sounded drunk.

I said goodbye and hung up.

Now hes texting me asking me whats wrong with me and wants to know if Im "ok" then he wrote out his name like I didnt know who it was from.

I wouldnt be surprised if he didnt come home tonight, or comes home in a drunken manic rage, looking to pick a fight.

I really dont have the energy for this right now!

*** a little backstory from this weekend ***

hubbys paternal aunt is sick in the hospital and his (I believe) undiagnosed bp dad is back off the wagon and ranting and raving about why he should be dying and it will be soon and what my hubby should do with his dead lifeless body!

Then of course I have mil calling and guilting hubby. Telling him he should come home and take care of his dad. I cant believe she would say that, ok maybe I can but still

Does anyone think this could have triggered hubbys actions today??


10/18/2010 01:59 PM
Posts: 83

omgeez! he just text me and asked if I was ready to "geavb"

then another that asked when I was gonna get him.

Didnt he tell me not to worry about it?? Wally would bring him home??

Guess its Wally bringing him home or hes not coming home, cause IM NOT LEAVING!!!

10/18/2010 02:09 PM
damselndistressPosts: 17411
VIP Member

Oh kat I have no idea I just know things can get really weird and it can involve the extended family too.

Just do what you have to tonight to take care of you and the girls. I guess if you can try to say whatever you can to prevent hubby from escalating and to put his mind at ease about you.

I have those times here too not as bad as what you are dealing with my guy. He is usually lucid but can hit me with some really weird stuff out of left field at times.

It always feels like a test.


Post edited by: damselndistress, at: 10/18/2010 02:35 PM

10/18/2010 02:23 PM
Posts: 83

exactly, a test of MY sanity!

and thank you. I will do as I always do which is to do my best to stay focused on the kiddies and ignore the nonsense.

Doesnt help that hes unmedicated and drinking right now either.

It just seems SO unfair sometimes.

But ya know, at least my bp hubby has an excuse (somewhat) for his bad behavior. What is the excuse of my friends hubbys? Guys with no bp or any mental/physical illness?? They are just jerks?! Well at least my hubbys jerkiness is off and on and not just on all the time. (maybe if I keep telling myself that I will be ok)

10/18/2010 08:39 PM
Posts: 11541
VIP Member

Oh kat! Unmedicated and drinking. You are being very brave here but I just got one of those heebie jeebie body shakes reading your thread. Terrible memories!

But one thing I wanted to respond to was what you put in italics. One of the ways they can tell someone is mentally ill is not that they respond oddly or off to ONE significant family crisis. People have breakdowns when they lose loved ones to early or violent death, when they lose jobs, when their banks foreclose on them. People can act out when they drink too much at a wedding or have to be around a bunch of nasty/pretentious/insulting people at some function or when they go to a family reunion and dysfunction abounds. People can get terribly depressed for all kinds of reasons. But a mentally ill person will almost always have a really bad/manic reaction to these things. They don't go six stressful events being stable and one being unstable, they go seven events being unstable, maybe more unstable sometimes than others.

You might try, when your husband is having a good day, asking him why he thinks he has such a bad reaction to these normal life events all the time. Get his interpretation and maybe suggest what you can (I don't know your details so I don't want to push you to say more than he will be ready to hear)--it may be just "I do worry about how all of these life events seem to upset you to where you are drunk or angry."

Yes, triggers!!!! Yes. OMG.

10/19/2010 08:13 AM
Posts: 83

married- thanks.

I did my best to ignore him last night, cause if I tried to bring anything up, it would have started a nightmare! Even the kids (the baby too) just kind of stayed away.

He is a little better this morning, but still not himself.

He definitely has bad reactions to ALL lifes big and small problems.

He told me late last night that he had a really horrible day at work and his buddy kinda screwed him over. I think thats what led him to drink in the first place (which is what he does when hes not on meds, thinks it makes him "normal"Wink

I have tried before to ask hubby during good times why he gets sooo upset with things. He either tells me that the things Im saying didnt happen, that I blew them up, that any person would have reacted the same as him or he just says how sorry he is that hes so messed up, with no real explanation.

I think coming from such a dysfunctional family, he just sees his actions/reactions as the actual norm. We are trying to work through this in marriage counseling. Just with him not being medicated right now, he cant stay stable at all and hes all over the place.

His next apt to get new meds is in a few weeks. I really wish he would let me go with him!


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