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10/15/2010 09:04 PM

"Don't call me babe, I'm not your babe, Alejandro"

Posts: 1723
Senior Member

I friggin' "approaches hate" when I think of Lady Gag-me. Sorry, just can't stand her antics. I friggin' HATE the meaning behind this song, and don't get me started on her video for this song, either.

Now that I've got this out of the way...I only know of this song because of the play it gets at work. I don't choose the station. I wish we had house music, but we don't.

Although I hate it, I keep finding myself singing it. In my mind, I'm saying it to the guys on Xbox.

Jack thought he'd made some friends on Xbox, but then, he deleted them all! I don't know if you remember, but one of them was a 15 yo, he seemed to want to guard me from. lol. I know he was making a peacock display, and he's since, indirectly, confirmed it. I felt like I was playing second fiddle to those guys, and I also saw through some of their antics. I told Jack about them, because I was really concerned.

One of them, Philanderer, play on his name, me to talking about Jack. Acted like he was there to listen, etc. I started getting wary though, when he started running Jack down to me, and demanding from me, "What's he done? He's just a pizza-eating, beer-drinking nobody."

We had played a couple of games together, but then, suddenly, he'd start talking to someone in the room, and leave the party abruptly. I didn't know what was going on.

He invited me to try the social network Bebo, and I did, but only out of curiosity, and a desire to not be rude. I had no intentions of staying with it. He pressed me to put up a photo, made an almost passing comment about me looking nice or some junk, then pressured me to put up more. He gave me a tour of his photo album, bragged about himself, quite a bit, etc. In one point of his running Jack down to me, he made a comment about how M, the 15yo was so far up his ass.

Twice, he invited me to a video chat through Xbox. I don't have a camera, but he said, "Just accept." I did, I was busy, using Xbox as a telecomm method. lol. I didn't watch the video. Ew! He's SO not Jack's equal. LMAO! I knew Jack was on at the time of one of the calls.

Anyway, others of this group of guys started wanting to chat with me. It was so strange. They would invite me to parties without Jack. They knew we weren't talking, and would ask me "Are you still 'Jack's girl?" I was thinking, "WTF kinda friends would make moves on their mate's girl?"

Meanwhile, the 15yo changed his name. Okay, here's the nomenclature I started: Jack's name = Jack. ;p JacksGirl = me. So then 15 yo became JacksLittleBro. I was pissed because he moved me out of the line-up, where my name came after Jack's, now he was in between us, which was kind of a mirror of our whole relationship, right there. Jack told me, "I know M won't turn against me." I wasn't so sure, to be honest, even though M had traveled from Scotland to visit Jack and Jack went to Scotland to visit him. I was a bit afraid that the tide was starting to turn, particularly if Philanderer spoke to M the way he did me about Jack.

It started me thinking...I wasn't so sure that Philanderer was "into" me. With all the others trying to stake their claim, I got the distinct feeling Jack had put them up to testing me. I was a straight arrow, just fyi. lol. I sent him a message saying as much, that I felt like he was testing me.

Then, I noticed that M had changed his name again! He'd changed it to PhilanderersLittleBro. WTF???!!!! OMG! The wheels really started cranking on this. What I came up with is that Philanderer was jealous of Jack's skills, and just in general. Philanderer wanted to be the top dog, but Jack had gaming skills, me ( ;p ), and M up his ass. I guess Philanderer wanted to take Jack down a few pegs. I actually sent a message to Jack regarding this, BECAUSE...

1. Philanderer, as I said, didn't really linger on my photo. When Jack was trying to convince me to give him a go, he told me I was beautiful, gorgeous, every picture looked different, "DAMN woman, those eyes!" I think I remember every word. LOL!

2. He talked so poorly of Jack. I mean, he really had nothing good to say to me. I felt exactly like he wanted to tear us apart.

3. He obviously went after Jack's friendship with M, as well, as noted by the name change.

I wondered what else he would go after, especially seeing as they were making plans to meet, just as M and Jack had. I worried about his relationship with his daughter, wondered if Philanderer had access to Jack's facebook, would he try to convince L of negativities about Jack! :O I don't know that he would, but I'm still unsure that he wouldn't. I told Jack I didn't trust him, outlined how it seemed he'd gunned for his relationships, including with M and me, but never said that about his daughter. I didn't want to appear too far out there, ya know?

Well, in talking to Jack, after he'd deleted everyone, we talked about Philanderer. Jack said, "He wouldn't try to flirt with you, as he's well chuffed with his missus." I said, "He's married? I didn't know that. I wondered why he'd suddenly go off, often without a word. But just so you know, in a game we played, he'd started calling me babe." Which is true, he had. I didn't quit the game, because I didn't know what I was going to do with the info, and I didn't want to give him fuel to take back to Jack.

It was right after that I removed Philanderer, before Jack did.

Jack thought about what I'd said, and then he said, "I saw that you two were in a video chat. I asked him what you two had to say to each other, and he said, 'It's none of your damn business.'" :O I did tell Jack some of the contents of our discussion, but did tell him I wasn't comfortable repeating everything Philanderer had said.

Anyway, that's how I feel about these men that seem to want to call me babe. It happens at work, too. As long as they tip well and I never see them again, I'm fine with it. Devil

But sometimes, I feel this way about Jack, lately. Until we can properly talk some things out, maybe I will continue to feel this way. Sad Calling me babe is a privilege that is earned. If I perceive that you're treating me like shit, that privilege is revoked.

But I keep having cyclical thought patterns about this. It starts off me being upset with how things are, with feeling like last week's leftovers, then realizing that he's probably in some emotional straits, and he's got to deal with them however he can. This is supported by the last message he sent me, where he encouraged me by saying it's only until next Tuesday, when the ex leaves, he misses me and then we can get back to normal. Some things still seem to be out-standing (financial term, used here), and maybe he's still dealing with the hurts I've dealt as well.

I'm not looking forward to the prospect of trying to deal with these matters. I just want my Jack back. I want things to be like they've been for the past few months. They were so wonderful.

Post edited by: stolenheart, at: 10/15/2010 09:11 PM


10/15/2010 11:53 PM
Posts: 1723
Senior Member

If you're worried about me, thank you. I know my posts have been all over the place. My emotions have, as well. I've had such full weeks, lately. So much worry and pain.

It will get better for me. Maybe I'll have that child support check in the mail tomorrow. Maybe I'll "make a killing" in tips at work. Who knows. I try not to worry, but of course, sometimes it seems unavoidable. I've had worse, though. Smile


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