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10/02/2010 11:43 PM

i get waves of emptiness

rch
Posts: 2639
Senior Member

Its ok. It is late Saturday night. I do not want him. I do not want to hear his voice. But, I miss him. It is not logical. I know when I sleep, I will feel better. I just hate these sudden waves of sorrow.
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10/02/2010 11:56 PM
marriedtoit
marriedtoit  
Posts: 11199
VIP Member

It sucks. Do you have a sleep med you can take? A movie you can watch that always distracts you? Or maybe you wanna be sad? I know sometimes I need to wallow. I hate it, but I need it. I shake it off soon after, but sometimes I need it. If so, do you have enough kleenexes around?

10/03/2010 08:41 AM
mem2514

For me its the weekend mornings. At least weekdays I am getting ready to go to work. But weekends if I have no plans its a reminder of how empty my life is without a SO to share LIFE.

Post edited by: sadsadhubby, at: 10/03/2010 08:02 PM


10/03/2010 08:55 AM
livinginablender
livinginablender  
Posts: 13286
Group Leader

Weekends are tough here too. There are things that I notice that I wish he was here to share. The apple crop. The humid wind blowing across the tree line. Bringing me coffee in bed. Sharing time on the porch. I have been trying to make plans on weekends, they are tough. It helps to have something to do.

10/03/2010 09:11 AM
rch
Posts: 2639
Senior Member

Its ok because I do manage to fall asleep. Although I wake up about 5 times a night sometimes. And I dream about us fighting or making love or something. It passes, of course. It is a challenge, because although I know for sure without a doubt, that there is no way we can be together .. I still stare at the phone and have to fight off the urge to just hear his voice. Because when he was calm (never in the end), I loved him so much. We had everything in common. We were in love and in some ways, joined at the hip. I miss him. But, no way no way can we be together. It is the weekends, especially Sunday morning. And dinner time every weeknight .. I feel hollow, then angry, then just stupid sad. I go out and take walks or find a friend or do stuff .. keep busy. I cannot even remember the last time we made love. But I can remember his smell and the way he breathes in his sleep and his quirky smile and lots of little things. It takes time. I am not going back .. No way.

10/03/2010 09:12 AM
rch
Posts: 2639
Senior Member

sadsad

I hope you can be with someone new one day..and she is healthy and loving and kind and calm.


10/03/2010 10:12 AM
rch
Posts: 2639
Senior Member

o by the way..the waves have just passed Smile and I am back to thinking he is a dolt.

10/03/2010 11:32 AM
lovelaura
lovelauraPosts: 256
Member

Glad you made it through the other side. I usually wake up for about 2 hours each night while my mind works on some things. And in the morning I feel pretty sluggish. Just happy I am not back where I was last nov 2 when this all began!

10/03/2010 12:18 PM
rch
Posts: 2639
Senior Member

thanks laura. Eventually these will all be distant memories.

10/03/2010 06:37 PM
stolenheart
stolenheart  
Posts: 1723
Senior Member

Hmm...the weekends were often pretty raunchy for me. When I lived with my dad, there was hardly any life, no activity. I had a veil of depression, as he slept most of the time. I work the weekends, now, so it's a little different, but I still get the blues when I don't have the kids in the morning.
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