Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

Went to the pdoc today and met husband there. Basically, it was a waste of time, and everything I was saying to them... well, I felt like the kook on display there. It was like they were looking to see if I was the unstable one. Again also, I never got any diagnosis from the doctor. You just lose track of time trying to get all your info in, that I really just left and realized I never got a diagnosis. I guess it is just depression, like the nurse said.

Hmmmm... his nurse is a bitch. Didn't want to shake my hand when I was leaving... like why I even wanted to...it was just the right thing to do. I was suppose to sit in the pdoc with husband, and he called his psyche nurse, probably giving her some bullshit story and so she was waiting there for him (husband) so she could sit in on the session with him. Like she is his security blanket. I don't know.... is this normal? I'm almost getting the impression she likes husband. It seems like some sort of bond going on here. Hahahah... maybe they'll hook up after he gets totally better. Hmmm.... this just seems odd.

Oh yeah, and we had a fight last night, and he punched me a few times in the arm... and there are bruises... and the pdoc saw them, but all they could do is give me crap for calling husband's mother a "slut". Haha.... and I did say it was wrong... but they didn't call him up on what he did to me.

Wow.

Post edited by: frazzled, at: 09/07/2010 06:52 PM

That's some BS! I'm sorry I'm still angry about my marriage counseling tonight.

At least this therapist had never met either of us, but I was happy when he told my husband that Jesus did not seek those who were strong and perfect...he seeked those who were weak, after my husband said he couldn't go to church with me because he had to get better first.

Frazzled:

I remember our first pdoc appt.I was so excited to get ready for this new journey.I can only speak from my experience.I do not understand why they had a nurse in the room.With us it was us and the doctor.He was diagnosed that very day, and precsriptions where written

that day also.Now, he never did talk alot,however that day

he explained how he had recently felt suicidal.He gave examples of when he and I would go out he needed to tip

100% of the bill.

Since you guys are partners I think it it important that you should feel encluded.I always felt deeply respected by his pdoc.I went to all but one appt.That was a huge mistake so I never could let him go alone.

The dr. always would lisen to me.I would always stay quiet and give bp so time to speak if he wanted, but after that I would respectfully of him bring up my concerns about his habits, meds,or physical effects the meds where having.

I never went in there to degrade him (not saying you are)just giving an example.I was in a neutral mind state.Anyway, from what you have written I would strongly advise you to find a better dr.

Good luck in your journey.

Hey Frazzled, I don't know why they have the nurse sitting in along with the doctor on your visits with your husband. The only thing I can possibly think of is that for some reason or another (probably not even related to your situation) the pdoc may have some legal issues that have arisen and so he has a nurse in the room at all times as a witness as to what is actually said, etc. Otherwise, I can't imagine why she would be in there. That is so strange. And I think you should be able to speak about what you see your husband going through when you are both at home, etc, because who knows better what is going on than you? Hang in there. Take care.

My shock is still in the bruising. Calling his mother a name wasn't exactly nice, but NEVER is physical abuse acceptable.

True, I'm stuck in the twilight zone. Husband lives in it, and I'm sucked into it big time. You see everything is my fault. If I have no feelings ever... and just accept whatever I'm told and don't get validation... well, then I guess things sort of run smoothly.

I did actually call the pdoc's supervisors today... and told them how I was treated, and that I want another sit down with this doctor, without the nurse there etc. and the supervisor said it is never ok to treat someone rudely, disrespectly and she would get me another appt. I told her I was bullied etc. I was out, but there was no call from anyone while I was out today. So, is this going to backfire and I feel like I am being ganged up on. I told her if they are not saying much because of the privacy laws, well ok, but no where is his privacy at stake, if they tell me, that he indeed told them to not tell me that either. I want to know, if he told them not to say anything to me, and not to tell me. I feel crazy. I want a proper diagnosis.

Not even sure if husband is coming home tonight. This is just so bizarre. I'm not sure what he is telling these doctors, but I do know that his mother etc. thought I was mistreating him, because that is what he does. He gets ppl to not like me I guess, by telling them I drive him to things. Maybe it looks like that in the office yesterday, I don't know. I was just wanting answers. It is so wierd. It is the twilight zone!

Post edited by: frazzled, at: 09/08/2010 05:11 PM

My BP husband did the same thing, when he first left me, he tried to call everyone in our circle and tell them I was controlling him no longer so he had to leave. Thank god because they truly know me, they knew something else was up, they just didn't know what.

It is really frightening to me how BP's can manipulate and somewhat control their dr's to believing them over us, whom are somewhat sane (LOL), have jobs whether it be at home or in an office, and functioning well on a day to day basis. Like I told my husband's dr. "Why would I have reason to lie when he has given me no support $ since leaving, and has treated me and our kids horribly" well that made her speechless...

Wishing you great success on getting a response and a new appt for your hubby.

Cori

Hey frazzeled....no matter what he tells them...never let them see you sweat. I know it will be an oscar-winning performance, but if he is trying to manipulate them by trying to make you look like an overbearing, control freak in his life or something....just be cool, calm and collected whenever you are around them. And when given an opportunity to speak, calmly tell about his behavior. BTW, has he signed the sheet to allow you to be able to access his records, etc.? If he hasn't, I wouldn't even waste my time going because they will NEVER let you speak or care what you think. And this is just my own personal opinion, but if my husband doesn't let me have access to his records and permission to call the office and stuff, on his behalf, I'm not spinnin' my wheels with him! Take care!

Hi, thanks for that. Hopeful, husband does have a good job and does make good money... but I guess I'm the only one that actually sees his behaviour. I'm not sure how he portrays himself at work though, he never talks about it.

And Lollipop, I'm from Canada... I don't know if he was suppose to sign a consent, probably, for me to be able to know what is going on? I mean I asked his pdoc if he was bipolar and he point blank said no. So, I'm not sure that he would lie right to my face, to keep his privacy. And it's amazing how professional doctors can be so manipulated by ppl. I think maybe he is not a good doctor and really just doesn't care at the end of the day.... treat him, don't really look too much at the whole problem, and that is it. He did get this referral from work, so is this preferrential treatment for an employee? They do treat other ppl besides his work place, so would they do this?

Oh and husband is again telling me he is leaving me. He is working the weekend to make extra money and then he is going back up to the town he use to work at on another job. He's had it with me, cause I think he doesn't want to go back to see his pdoc etc. cause they saw the bruises on me and I said some things. I told his doctors things not to get him, but so maybe they could see he is irrational alot of the time, and what he is like. So, husband hates me now, and I should not fight this probably. Cause the kids are not gonna understand why I would still be with him after the bruises. Now I remember why I had him working away all those years in the first place. This can't all be me?