Bipolar Spouses Online Support Group

Post edited by: broken626, at: 10/21/2010 10:30 AM

well so much for that, he has now told me he has given me enough of his time I dont get anymore until he is ready to give it to me.

great thanks mary

OMG here we go again, with the nastyness. I a whore, ok then. she must have dumped him, I got FU's left and right. He said he is in hell and it is my fault. ok, everything is my fault I have already come to accept that. What ever. this was his attitude when I first talked to him tonight. I dont know where it came from.

Hi, you might just want to go through some old posts on here and see if you can print out some that are relating to what you would like to show him. Then it would be specifically on those topics.... and not a whole book for him to read.

I just got off the phone with him, he was sobbing he said he was sorry for calling me a whore. He still will not get that he has a problem. I think it is coming though he is such a mess. He says no one will ever love him, he needs to be touhed and can see why babies die from lack of affection. This girl is gone, she wont hang out with him anymore, she must have figured out what a mess he is. I told him he was a wonderful husband and man and that I knew he could not help it. He says oh yes I can I am just a horrible person. He said you need to file for a divorce because you deserve better then me. So thats about it. He is a mess, he will not let me in to help him, he still does not understand what is going on, not sure that he will. i did find out what dr. it is a regular dr not a pdoc. Still wondering if I should call them in the morning.

Yes, you should call his doctor but he needs to see a pdoc. It sounds like your husband is going into his depressive state.. as they say on here the "crash" with his crying. My husband was crying too, had guilt feelings about things, and I think he may have wanted to divorce me too cause he thought I deserved better too. This can also be a high risk time for suicidal thoughts. So, I would observe him to see he doesn't do anything like that. My husband was mixed up too. You should just keep being there for your husband. Console him, tell him things that you think he may want to hear, lend that loving/caring ear that he so needs right now. Tell him he is the best for you and the kids... he is a good man... etc. probably what you have been doing. Why you married him in the first place. Be persistent in telling him you don't want a divorce, even if he thinks it is for the best.... you don't want to find anyone else... etc. You don't want to break the family up. Make him see gently how it would affect your kids etc. Make him see the woman he has forgotten... cause of his bipolar bad memory.

He does need to see a proper pdoc. A general physician is not enough. Somehow, gently you need to get him to do that. Then they can help him properly.

Just saw your other reply on here. You need to defend yourself when he puts you down. Be firm, cause even if he is manic, he does not have the right to talk to you like that. He will respect you more in the long run. I just never gave up, when my husband became very distant and wasn't living at home. Don't give up, if you do want him back. Keep in contact with him, whether he likes it or not. Find something to get him involved to come home... i.e., the kids. I always got my husband to come home, cause the kids needed this, etc. Then he would be home and he got involved at home. I'd get him to go out with me at night, date night. You know, they lack self esteem really, and they just need that push, because they don't think they have the right to infringe themselves on you etc. Like he said, you deserve better. Be persistent.

I hate this.

Post edited by: broken626, at: 10/21/2010 10:32 AM