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06/24/2010 09:46 AM

Negative messages I get from my partner

damselndistress
damselndistressPosts: 16968
VIP Member

At what point do they start to affect us too?

*he's broke (this is nonstop)

*his life is empty (thanks a lot)

I'm sure I'll have more to add to the list anyone have some on their mind today?

Damsel

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06/24/2010 10:35 AM
sallyo
sallyoPosts: 3684
Senior Member

This is what I've been getting from mine, especially when he's depressed:

*the family would be better off without him

*he's a failure

Neither of those are true, but that's how he feels. Usually I just listen, try to encourage him, and if that doesn't work, change the subject.

Post edited by: sallyo, at: 06/24/2010 10:38 AM


06/24/2010 10:51 AM
pjgirl

I just got the "Im a failure" one this morning..... And he says all the time now "ill just stop taking my meds"

06/24/2010 01:54 PM
sunday321
 
Posts: 241
Member

Mine is saying he is a failure now, everyone saying he is depressed.

I used to get the no money too, never realised it was his own fault for spending it all.......never clicked!


06/25/2010 06:01 AM
Lientjie
LientjiePosts: 34
Member

Yeah! I can add to the "I'm a failure"

* Nobody ever gave me opportunities,

* I don't know how much longer I can keep the job,

* We are never financialy going to make it (so not true!)

* I can't take it anymore ( what?) I don't know

* (The best one!) You don't understand

I want to know who tries to understand us. I experiencing early menopause, so I was tearful yesterday and well just a bit irritated. The response Whats wrong with you? Having a selfpity party again. I try to explain ( BIG MISTAKE!)Answer " pull yourself together it can't be that bad, don't make everything about you!"

I just turned around... What can you say to that. It can never be about us because where will "me me me" go?

Don't think you can remind the "me" how often you have to sit and listen to their "pityfull stories" LOL it's what I do, go somewhere think about how ridiculous it must look from the outtside and have a good laugh.


06/25/2010 08:30 AM
karmalucas
Posts: 35
New Member



Post edited by: karmalucas, at: 07/01/2010 06:37 AM

06/25/2010 09:55 AM
amaz01
Posts: 30
Member

Some of the daily sayings in our household that my wife reminds me of:

**"I never have any money on me, I'm always broke" (we have money in the bank but refuses to carry it on her)

**Everyone is mean to her

**That she's a failure, because she doesn't have a college degree

**"All men are disgusting"

**We need to move

And the one I hear quite a bit....

**No one understands her


06/25/2010 12:36 PM
cos02
Posts: 65
Member

I don;t where to start, these all about sum it up. Hate everyone going through the same thing but kinda nice to know I am not alone....again.

06/25/2010 06:00 PM
rch
Posts: 2639
Senior Member

'you are not a good wife

'a good wife would have more sex

'you lied about who you are .. i expect sex every day

' i will leave you if i don't get sex

'you don't love me

'you don't show love

'you are unloving

'you are mean, a B***H, a liar, a poser etc etc

'I feel nothing

'I don't care if people die

'All other women I have been with are better in bed than you

'I can get any woman I want

'You are a failure at relationships

'you are the crazy one

'you should be on meds

'i am not taking meds since you make me crazy and if we break up i will be fine

'are you screwing that guy?

(um what guy???)

'if you give me more sex,then i will be nicer to you

'be nice to me

'you should learn from me

(grandiose much?)

the list is quite long. I will stop now.

Having shared this, to be clear he is now on meds and was not when these rants happened. But I remember them well..and it still hurts..also, I fear they will happen again .. I am not sure if he will really stay on meds since it is too soon to know.


06/25/2010 06:23 PM
Belle121975
Posts: 135
Member

OMG! I am so thankful I found this website & so thankful that my BP boyfriend (not medicated, not seeing a shrink, using AA to help him) walked out on me a week ago tomorrow. All these lines he used on me & we were only together for 3 months. He was a friend & offered me a place to stay after a couple day visit. Little did I know he had better plans & soon convinced me to be his girlfriend. As soon as he noticed I was comfortable he flipped. He used to say

*If you were a size 2 I wouldn't care about B.J.'s

*You are crazy

*Shut the F up you C**t, B***H, Psycho

*I can't believe how terrible the sex is. It's not my fault you are self conscious.

*You are insecure.

Etc.

Reading here makes me feel so relieved. He will not return my messages at all. I am dumbfounded but I am happy that I found this website.

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