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02/13/2010 01:44 PM

Self neglect?

damselndistressPosts: 17366
VIP Member

Has anyone else got into the bad habit of self neglect?

The reason I started this is I can't come up with anything that I am doing for myself. My list would be cleaning my house, taking care of my kids, going to work, and I realize none of these things are about doing something for me it's all doing something for others.

Before I thought that my job was my me time. Well now that I'm not working as much I have the chance to really see that job for what it is and how draining it is. How much I bust my butt there all day long nonstop.How in the world did I ever consider that me time? Yes I get into a groove and wear that hat for the day and it's a part of me but it certainly isn't about me.

I had gotten so bad into the self neglect that I was cutting my own hair there for about 5 years? I did it in the bathroom because there was no time for me to go to the salon and get it cut. No doctor's appointments for me without it being a huge ordeal having to take a day off work because it was such an inconvenience to have anyone watch the kids so I could do any type of self maintenance.

And my clothes and personal stuff-nada basically.

I bought things for the house and things for the kids. I had one pair of jeans that I put on when I went places that was it. I didn't have any freedom to just go to the mall and try anything on.

I admit these things were extreme but it's how far into self neglect I let myself go for whatever reason and after doing it for so long it's hard to do things any differently. I have just in this past year been able to return to my stylist. I admitted to her where I'd been (my own bathroom barber) she couldn't say anything because she does the same thing cuts her own hair!Blush

Am I the only really weird one here or have others gotten into self neglect?



02/13/2010 02:08 PM
bethb2004Posts: 813

I can relate. I keep the house fairly clean and do laundry once a week, but I've been finding it hard to concentrate on my college classes lately. I can't remember the last time I got my hair cut. I find myself wearing jeans and t-shirts all the time, unless I'm at home, then I just put on pajama pants and t-shirts. I don't wear make-up at all or even try to style my hair, just comb it out while it's wet and let it airdry. While I usually shower every day, I just realized that it might be time to go take one... To be honest though, I think it is more due to my own emotional state right now than anything else because it's not like I don't have the time to do it. I just don't have the ambition.

02/13/2010 07:54 PM
Posts: 277

I think because we put so much energy into our BP spouses and have to take control of EVERYTHING there is no time for ME time. We get so use in the end to doing everything we forget that we need some time out too.

Damsel as hard as it is, you have to try and do things for yourself. Your children or house wont fall apart of you take some you time. You will also feel very refreshed, energised and be able to handle the many tasks that you face.

YOU deserve some time for yourself! Please dont ever think you dont or don't deserve it.

02/14/2010 04:05 PM
damselndistressPosts: 17366
VIP Member

Arcana I found your post very touching thank you so much. I am sorry that it took me so long to get back to you. Thank you also for the tip on mindfulness. I'm sorry that you've been through all of that it sounds pretty horrific, sounds like the pets are doing pretty well though there.

I'll look forward to hearing more from you.

Feel free to start your own post too here.

This is a great group with people who care.



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